"You don't want to let people in. It's hard for you. And once you let those people in, you don't want to let them go. And when they screw up, it's like, why would you do that to me? I gave you my feelings, I did everything for you, and you still screwed me over. It's like you wished they were a better person." - Audrina Patridge


Just how I felt. How small and hard and harsh this world could be. A person with a good face doesnt mean it's true. I've been pushing everyone away.......... It'll be awhile that I will let anyone in.

I'm seriously flawful if there is such word. I can find flaws anywhere if you ask me to list out at least one. I'm nothing great and I have attitude problem and my mind is really indecisive and I'm more of a follower than a leader. I'm more of true self when I am not sober or I feel really peaceful or my mind is really troubleless or when I'm very tired or when I'm totally comfortable with someone. It happens so RARE nowadays that I can be really comfortable and be my own self. I dont have a shell 2-3 years ago. What happen to this useless armour that only keep me cooped up? How was it form man? I have no idea.

It's just pointless. The whole thing. Think back and come back to the present. What do you think, how do you feel? Why didnt you feel like this back then? Even if you did, what did you do?

I'm just a chubby girl with plump body and totally normal. No point getting stuck here. You have the great advantage. You can have a better life.