25102016

Long bus ride mmmm
On 963 to Woodlands Regional Library to do some studying. No idea why school is just not the environment for me to do self-studying haha because it's like there is a layer of stressful atmosphere, which I think has been garnered since the past two years of brain-wrecking sessions that last till late nights in school LOL

Is it because I feel that I won't be able to do well and because I'm not doing well? With the add-on of feeling how lacking I am in terms of passion and competency, after speaking to some people and realizing the huge gap? Is it because I'm too eager to want to realize how I am able to provide for my loved ones? Or is it because I feel like there are opportunities that I am walking past everyday where these opportunities won't be there for me again? Or is it because there are some distractions that I know will fix me in the wrong ways, for sure? I guess I am feeling sorry towards a number of people in my life for various reasons - where some of them I couldn't wait to make it up to, and there's a few who I don't know how to.

Are these all that's troubling me? Maybe I should do some testing and analysis on myself LOL too much of software testing for the past few weeks

Hope that I can be more productive today. Yes I have done my part for all the work that I must do, but I have been slacking on catching up with revision. Yes I shall do as said and if I didn't do it I'm going to come back here and scold myself lol

Missed how magically blogging can allow me to realize inner thoughts which I am unable to sort out in my head, which I will be unable to tell anyone if it has not been put out into rational sentences in my head. It's all good, all good.

Meanwhile, so thankful for the Friday spent with aiai last week. It has been the most meaningful meet-up and h2h talk we have had in such a long time. I definitely feel so so so blessed to have her, on a level which no one else will be with me.

Thankful for the simple Saturday with boy too, a lighthearted one, eating what we like to eat, watching what we like to watch and doing what we like to do. And that's all I need when I'm with him on a rare and common free day for us both.

Then for today, I'm thankful to meet le bro LeeLeongLeong, who will always be there silently and at weird times that are surprisingly right, to exchange a few concerning words and rant about school. It is just so awesome to have this bro of mine in the same school now.

Till then *waves*