Helloooooooo my dear people ^^
Im currently in malaysia again using my cousin's lappy. Feel so guilty skipping maths exam today.
Dont want to get a tongue lashing from AhDev. LOL
K la. Go to do my thing. Just wanna talk to my blog for awhile.
Tatas! I miss my loved ones.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Had never been special in my own ways.
Had never had the best time of my life.
Had never been getting high and crazy with my friends.
I really wonder what happen to my life and since when it went wrong.
I've been complaining about my life being boring and plain since alot of years ago.
Now I find life too complicated.
I did too many things wrong, I wonder how god arrange my fate to be, what's my karma.
Is it a disastrous heartbreak?
A loss of loved one?
A mishap?
Complication in friendships?
Im very vulnerable, I dont think I can take anything well that's coming my way. But I think I should, I should get what I deserve, I feel damn wrong. Sometimes I wish the world wouldnt treat me so well. The better Im treated, the worse I become. It's a trait of me to take things for granted. It's not anyone elses fault. I pushed the blame to everyone because it will make me better. I have been consoling and telling myself that Im not wrong everytime, yet, Im not abit innocent in any of the cases.
Im a Gemini. And Im an evil Gemini. 2 faced huh? Admit. There's really a me that I discovered lately. So cruel and inhumane. Who am I?
Sometimes I just wanna be sorry and apologise for everything I did. But I just felt that it's useless. There are many what-ifs. What if they dont forgive me? What if we're not friends anymore? What if more people are dragged in? What if, what if, what if.
I've become such a coward. Where's the me that is once not abit scared even if a knife is point at me?
Im so scared of everything now. Im scared of sounds, Im scared of insects even butterflies, Im scared of death. I feel that I've so much things to do. I have so much to repay my parents.
Everytime I think, I dont put them into words neither do I put them into actions. I seriously fucking want to get my hands and eyes on those books. But I just cant seem to move my them. My room is in such a mess, and a messy room already make my mood even worse.
I want you to go, but I cant bear to let you go, and Im afraid I will regret if I let you go. Everything is two-ways for me. I might feel happy, I might feel upset. I might become better, I might become worse.
Im selfish. And I cant seem to change this anymore. What had caused me to not think for others anymore?
I dont know............................. Im so at loss, I feel a sense of loneliness, comfortable loneliness, I miss my past, I want to live in it, I do not want to move on.
What is the extent of me sucking?
Had never had the best time of my life.
Had never been getting high and crazy with my friends.
I really wonder what happen to my life and since when it went wrong.
I've been complaining about my life being boring and plain since alot of years ago.
Now I find life too complicated.
I did too many things wrong, I wonder how god arrange my fate to be, what's my karma.
Is it a disastrous heartbreak?
A loss of loved one?
A mishap?
Complication in friendships?
Im very vulnerable, I dont think I can take anything well that's coming my way. But I think I should, I should get what I deserve, I feel damn wrong. Sometimes I wish the world wouldnt treat me so well. The better Im treated, the worse I become. It's a trait of me to take things for granted. It's not anyone elses fault. I pushed the blame to everyone because it will make me better. I have been consoling and telling myself that Im not wrong everytime, yet, Im not abit innocent in any of the cases.
Im a Gemini. And Im an evil Gemini. 2 faced huh? Admit. There's really a me that I discovered lately. So cruel and inhumane. Who am I?
Sometimes I just wanna be sorry and apologise for everything I did. But I just felt that it's useless. There are many what-ifs. What if they dont forgive me? What if we're not friends anymore? What if more people are dragged in? What if, what if, what if.
I've become such a coward. Where's the me that is once not abit scared even if a knife is point at me?
Im so scared of everything now. Im scared of sounds, Im scared of insects even butterflies, Im scared of death. I feel that I've so much things to do. I have so much to repay my parents.
Everytime I think, I dont put them into words neither do I put them into actions. I seriously fucking want to get my hands and eyes on those books. But I just cant seem to move my them. My room is in such a mess, and a messy room already make my mood even worse.
I want you to go, but I cant bear to let you go, and Im afraid I will regret if I let you go. Everything is two-ways for me. I might feel happy, I might feel upset. I might become better, I might become worse.
Im selfish. And I cant seem to change this anymore. What had caused me to not think for others anymore?
I dont know............................. Im so at loss, I feel a sense of loneliness, comfortable loneliness, I miss my past, I want to live in it, I do not want to move on.
What is the extent of me sucking?
Monday, May 18, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
In Genting Starbucks once again! This time with my dearest sissy... We came with our paternal family this time. They are all damn scared of the coldness here and wear long sleeved or long pants! I wear quite casually, one normal top & shorts. I got my dearest zhao pai scarf so it doesnt matter if i feel cold ^^
LOL do I sound like Im boasting? Oh even if I am I dont mind ^^
Was having so much fun with my cousins in the car just now. I keep sweep the mist for my sister to eat. LOL.
Damn funny. Im supposed to be studying now but guess what it's really freaking uncomfortable here! ):
Miss me? These will help ;D
Off to do my things already. Cya people.
LOL do I sound like Im boasting? Oh even if I am I dont mind ^^
Was having so much fun with my cousins in the car just now. I keep sweep the mist for my sister to eat. LOL.
Damn funny. Im supposed to be studying now but guess what it's really freaking uncomfortable here! ):
Miss me? These will help ;D
Off to do my things already. Cya people.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Evening!
Im going to Malaysia later and coming back on Monday morning...
Practical is coming on Tuesday and I have totally no idea what we'll be tested on. Lol. Die?
:S
Exams for the next two weeks. Then CHINESE O LEVEL. AT EXPO. 7.30AM MUST REACH.
Must be crazy already.
Miss me people, going to Genting!
Im going to Malaysia later and coming back on Monday morning...
Practical is coming on Tuesday and I have totally no idea what we'll be tested on. Lol. Die?
:S
Exams for the next two weeks. Then CHINESE O LEVEL. AT EXPO. 7.30AM MUST REACH.
Must be crazy already.
Miss me people, going to Genting!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
*Boring post, because Im at the library*
Hillo people!
Im at the library now, studying. I hope to study more than half of the Maths topic and at least cover half of Chemistry. I've not revised much since school started this year, the total time I revised is not more than 3 hours. Sad?!?!?! Im stepping into my own grave sigh.
Everytime I use my computer, I refuse to do anything no more.
Or my butt is stick to the chair. Or I have endless websites to surf. And I've to take care of my restaurant.
S:
Today I skipped Chem&Physics so in order not to feel guilty I came to library to study! :) Intended to stay till the library closes because half of the time I'm using lappy... Example now, I reached here at 11am and only studied one chapter of Maths. LOL.
Omg Im so pathetic la! And it's so damn fucking cold in here but I think baby's large cardigan he gave me since Dec 2007 (have to emphasize HAHA) saved me abit (:
Ok this is really like complaining and ranting and typing randomly because I already feel tired and restless. LOL. Different meaning right? But that's how I feel...
I very angry one thing is the network connection, will keep suddenly disconnect! #%*%^$$$^%%^$@$
Help me jiayou ok! MYE is NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I havent eat anything since morning and I drink ice lemon tea and ate orange peel. Now they are fighting and beating around in my stomach, very pain... ):
Waiting for Jane to come and save me... I wanna eat!
And anyway I feel uneasy because I didnt bring my earpiece. No music for me ):
Back to work (restaurant) tatas.
Hillo people!
Im at the library now, studying. I hope to study more than half of the Maths topic and at least cover half of Chemistry. I've not revised much since school started this year, the total time I revised is not more than 3 hours. Sad?!?!?! Im stepping into my own grave sigh.
Everytime I use my computer, I refuse to do anything no more.
Or my butt is stick to the chair. Or I have endless websites to surf. And I've to take care of my restaurant.
S:
Today I skipped Chem&Physics so in order not to feel guilty I came to library to study! :) Intended to stay till the library closes because half of the time I'm using lappy... Example now, I reached here at 11am and only studied one chapter of Maths. LOL.
Omg Im so pathetic la! And it's so damn fucking cold in here but I think baby's large cardigan he gave me since Dec 2007 (have to emphasize HAHA) saved me abit (:
Ok this is really like complaining and ranting and typing randomly because I already feel tired and restless. LOL. Different meaning right? But that's how I feel...
I very angry one thing is the network connection, will keep suddenly disconnect! #%*%^$$$^%%^$@$
Help me jiayou ok! MYE is NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I havent eat anything since morning and I drink ice lemon tea and ate orange peel. Now they are fighting and beating around in my stomach, very pain... ):
Waiting for Jane to come and save me... I wanna eat!
And anyway I feel uneasy because I didnt bring my earpiece. No music for me ):
Back to work (restaurant) tatas.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Went to Nigel's chalet ytd. Enjoyed a great deal.
:) :) :)
I love Nigel and Jonas! More than my own nieces and nephews. They are really adorable and a dear to me. Really love them like they are blood related to me.
Hope that when they grow up they will still remember me and stay close to me ^^
When we were going off yesterday, those two kiddo dont want us to go and they keep saying byebye to their parents and relatives. Lol! Then when we really going each both of them hug us tight tight. Babies and toddlers nowadays really very dong shi lor. They understand what adults and teenagers like us are saying.
My godbrother Nigel, though he doesnt show it on his face, I know that whenever we shower more care on his brother than him, he will feel quite upset and neglected. But he will never be replaced in our hearts and I will never neglect and desert him ^^
LOL one thing very funny he put his birthday cake dinosaurs into the fridge, the FREEZER. Before that he put a toy gun inside. Then he forgot where he placed it. It was so funny! He was searching all over the place for it and forgot it was in the fridge, freezing......
Happy Mothers' Day to my dearest mummy. We celebrated it early at Vista Kitchen and my sister and I treated her. I hope she's happy! :)
She's out now and I've tidied and vacuumed the house. Im sweating like water tap!
Hope she'll be really surprised and happy when she return with my father (: Love mummy and daddy.
On Fathers' Day, Im going to buy a pen for him because I placed it on the counter after filling in the Sheng Siong's luck draw form for him :S It's his favourite pen leh... What kind of ball-point pen is nice to use? Preferably silver that kind... He likes that kind!
Aiai, I know you mean well for me. And Im listening and absorbing it inside me. I never turn a deaf ear on you. I know what's well for me and I will make a wise decision, no worries :) I will always be there for you, like you were there for me and like I was there for you a long time ago. Im sorry :/
Love Sim Aiai!
:) :) :)
I love Nigel and Jonas! More than my own nieces and nephews. They are really adorable and a dear to me. Really love them like they are blood related to me.
Hope that when they grow up they will still remember me and stay close to me ^^
When we were going off yesterday, those two kiddo dont want us to go and they keep saying byebye to their parents and relatives. Lol! Then when we really going each both of them hug us tight tight. Babies and toddlers nowadays really very dong shi lor. They understand what adults and teenagers like us are saying.
My godbrother Nigel, though he doesnt show it on his face, I know that whenever we shower more care on his brother than him, he will feel quite upset and neglected. But he will never be replaced in our hearts and I will never neglect and desert him ^^
LOL one thing very funny he put his birthday cake dinosaurs into the fridge, the FREEZER. Before that he put a toy gun inside. Then he forgot where he placed it. It was so funny! He was searching all over the place for it and forgot it was in the fridge, freezing......
Happy Mothers' Day to my dearest mummy. We celebrated it early at Vista Kitchen and my sister and I treated her. I hope she's happy! :)
She's out now and I've tidied and vacuumed the house. Im sweating like water tap!
Hope she'll be really surprised and happy when she return with my father (: Love mummy and daddy.
On Fathers' Day, Im going to buy a pen for him because I placed it on the counter after filling in the Sheng Siong's luck draw form for him :S It's his favourite pen leh... What kind of ball-point pen is nice to use? Preferably silver that kind... He likes that kind!
Aiai, I know you mean well for me. And Im listening and absorbing it inside me. I never turn a deaf ear on you. I know what's well for me and I will make a wise decision, no worries :) I will always be there for you, like you were there for me and like I was there for you a long time ago. Im sorry :/
Love Sim Aiai!
Friday, May 8, 2009
Miserable ):
Geography lesson was fun today.
Classmate: Teacher Mas Selamat kana caught already!
Teacher: Really?
Classmate: Ya newspaper say one.
Teacher: Oh then the newspaper must be joking.
HAHAHAHHAHAHA. So funny. The teacher havent read newspaper then he tot my classmate joking with him.
The teacher is very good. Is very sincere in teaching like Mr Dev also.
I hope I get good results for MYE! :)
Feel very tired and bored! I miss Aiai & Laopo ^^
ORANGEY PEEL!
Geography lesson was fun today.
Classmate: Teacher Mas Selamat kana caught already!
Teacher: Really?
Classmate: Ya newspaper say one.
Teacher: Oh then the newspaper must be joking.
HAHAHAHHAHAHA. So funny. The teacher havent read newspaper then he tot my classmate joking with him.
The teacher is very good. Is very sincere in teaching like Mr Dev also.
I hope I get good results for MYE! :)
Feel very tired and bored! I miss Aiai & Laopo ^^
ORANGEY PEEL!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
How do I speak and perform myself so that I dont offend anyone and people will be comfortable to speak to me?
I feel quite sad because it seems like I cant get along with people nowadays.
I never experience such things for a long time so it's kinda awkward for me. I hope I do improve myself for the best :)
I do want people, friends to like me though. But I just dont know how to do it.
Sigh, miss lots of people. Forget to mention I met Jiaren!!!!!!!! on Monday after lesson at Jurong East when I going in CWP to dabao MOS Burger. Happy you know! I screamed JIARENNNNN!!!! and she was like omg omg finally I saw you. Ya that was like what I was thinking too~
We chatted abit and update each other on our lifes. Ya and I saw his brother! Really happy to see his brother because I've never seen him before.
Life is going on fine I guess, hopefully? I really want to become a better myself. I know I have been repeating all over again on how awful I am but I tend to not change at all or change for awhile and poof! no more good Jiamin. Wl, I really wanna change myself for real, permanently and shut my mouth for most of the time. I think my mouth's too big and I hate it also. Though sometimes it's good to get those things off my chest.
Im really satisfied with my life. Or not? Im afraid to lose things that Im having.
Had been really crazy about Restaurant City. But I only like leveled one dish to level 10. Kinda sad! I want onions! I only need onions to complete two dishes. Add me if you have onions!!!
YKH keep asking me buy table and chairs for him x) Instead I help him play the whole day and earn money for himself LOL.
Aiya, darling, Dota is better for you la! You 妻子 at restaurant help you earn money ok, you go to war.
Went to find Nigel and Jonas just now. REALLY REALLY HAPPY!!!! One is my godbrother and the other is like my cutest cutie pie in the whole world and one smile from him will brighten up my day. I think that's why I feel that my life is normal and fine now.
Saturday is going to Nigel's 6th years old birthday party!!!! Omg. I feel like buying something from him. But what? Im not earning a steady income how to buy things for him ):
And Mothers' Day!!!!!! Sometimes I will think forward to the future what will happen. I cant imagine life without my parents? Well and if life isnt going well at that time I dont wanna live either ): ): ):
My mum's my best friend my best friend is my mum!
I love my mother! Though she nagged at me like 10 times a day and always blame me for her headaches and unhappiness LOL I dont blame her because whenever I skip lessons (valid/invalid reasons la) she will scared I not going to school anymore.
Understand! But seriously, Thursday's lesson is totally useless for me I dont feel like going Thursdays' lessons anymore I dont get anything from it, she explains = waste her energy (for me la because I dont really know the basics of chemistry) I rather stay home and have my sister teach me because my sister has strengths in maths and science, which is FABULOUS because those are my weak subjects.
Oh, I hope tmr's Geography lesson is cancelled. It's fucking tiring to wake up at 7+ and go all the way till J.E to study. K la my father is driving me. Teehee.
I think I not meeting baby for 4 days including today cozzzz I gonna be BZ. Miss you.
Tatas I tell my baby I going bathe at 11.28pm now is 11.48pm hope he doesnt kill me.
LOVE ALL!
P.S, to F & L, cheer up ok! Sunshine after rain, rmb. Not immediately, but there wont be rain forever :)
I feel quite sad because it seems like I cant get along with people nowadays.
I never experience such things for a long time so it's kinda awkward for me. I hope I do improve myself for the best :)
I do want people, friends to like me though. But I just dont know how to do it.
Sigh, miss lots of people. Forget to mention I met Jiaren!!!!!!!! on Monday after lesson at Jurong East when I going in CWP to dabao MOS Burger. Happy you know! I screamed JIARENNNNN!!!! and she was like omg omg finally I saw you. Ya that was like what I was thinking too~
We chatted abit and update each other on our lifes. Ya and I saw his brother! Really happy to see his brother because I've never seen him before.
Life is going on fine I guess, hopefully? I really want to become a better myself. I know I have been repeating all over again on how awful I am but I tend to not change at all or change for awhile and poof! no more good Jiamin. Wl, I really wanna change myself for real, permanently and shut my mouth for most of the time. I think my mouth's too big and I hate it also. Though sometimes it's good to get those things off my chest.
Im really satisfied with my life. Or not? Im afraid to lose things that Im having.
Had been really crazy about Restaurant City. But I only like leveled one dish to level 10. Kinda sad! I want onions! I only need onions to complete two dishes. Add me if you have onions!!!
YKH keep asking me buy table and chairs for him x) Instead I help him play the whole day and earn money for himself LOL.
Aiya, darling, Dota is better for you la! You 妻子 at restaurant help you earn money ok, you go to war.
Went to find Nigel and Jonas just now. REALLY REALLY HAPPY!!!! One is my godbrother and the other is like my cutest cutie pie in the whole world and one smile from him will brighten up my day. I think that's why I feel that my life is normal and fine now.
Saturday is going to Nigel's 6th years old birthday party!!!! Omg. I feel like buying something from him. But what? Im not earning a steady income how to buy things for him ):
And Mothers' Day!!!!!! Sometimes I will think forward to the future what will happen. I cant imagine life without my parents? Well and if life isnt going well at that time I dont wanna live either ): ): ):
My mum's my best friend my best friend is my mum!
I love my mother! Though she nagged at me like 10 times a day and always blame me for her headaches and unhappiness LOL I dont blame her because whenever I skip lessons (valid/invalid reasons la) she will scared I not going to school anymore.
Understand! But seriously, Thursday's lesson is totally useless for me I dont feel like going Thursdays' lessons anymore I dont get anything from it, she explains = waste her energy (for me la because I dont really know the basics of chemistry) I rather stay home and have my sister teach me because my sister has strengths in maths and science, which is FABULOUS because those are my weak subjects.
Oh, I hope tmr's Geography lesson is cancelled. It's fucking tiring to wake up at 7+ and go all the way till J.E to study. K la my father is driving me. Teehee.
I think I not meeting baby for 4 days including today cozzzz I gonna be BZ. Miss you.
Tatas I tell my baby I going bathe at 11.28pm now is 11.48pm hope he doesnt kill me.
LOVE ALL!
P.S, to F & L, cheer up ok! Sunshine after rain, rmb. Not immediately, but there wont be rain forever :)
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Helloz people!
I feel so happy. I dont know why :)
I felt that I have everything I need in my life, well with an excess of things I dont need la... Today's lesson felt very fast to me. And I finished writing ying yong wen! :)
Good Jiamin clever Jiamin.
Oh I feel sad again. Everyone has their best friend. The other one that they always can hang out with, not afraid that they will be alone, and knowing that the other one will always be there for her.
Sigh ): Miss those times when I always have someone to hang out with. I have great friends, but they're all busy with their life.
Im not sociable. And I dont always get along with everyone. Is it something wrong with me?
I dont know why the sudden change sia. I feel so lonely again...
Dad and Mum are back!!! :D:D:D
They bought tanktops and bag and cute keychains for me LOL!
Love them to bits and pieces.
Feona and Lorencia, smile! :)
I dont know what to say, but I like to see you both the crazy people that always smile and laugh :)
Yeah goodbye.
I feel so happy. I dont know why :)
I felt that I have everything I need in my life, well with an excess of things I dont need la... Today's lesson felt very fast to me. And I finished writing ying yong wen! :)
Good Jiamin clever Jiamin.
Oh I feel sad again. Everyone has their best friend. The other one that they always can hang out with, not afraid that they will be alone, and knowing that the other one will always be there for her.
Sigh ): Miss those times when I always have someone to hang out with. I have great friends, but they're all busy with their life.
Im not sociable. And I dont always get along with everyone. Is it something wrong with me?
I dont know why the sudden change sia. I feel so lonely again...
Dad and Mum are back!!! :D:D:D
They bought tanktops and bag and cute keychains for me LOL!
Love them to bits and pieces.
Feona and Lorencia, smile! :)
I dont know what to say, but I like to see you both the crazy people that always smile and laugh :)
Yeah goodbye.
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