22102014

Firstly, a happy 22nd October which marked the 8th month for me and Shermy for being together. Perhaps not a happy-everyday kind of 8 months, but till today I am still glad that I have him in my life. Being a really self-conscious and on-off negative person, having someone like Shermy who reminds me every now and then of how treasured and how not worthless I thought of myself that I am, really means a lot to me and changed my attitude towards life a lot.

And FINALLY SAW SOH VIVI TODAY. Makes my day a lot, missing this girl so much.

Came here to clear my mind off stuffs... Can't proceed to studying. Is it because I am gonna be studying Maths? Haha discrete mathematics is like killing me with all that logic. Thank god I got a C+ for my first test. By right I actually need to work much harder for the upcoming test on next Friday that's why I am so pek cek now because it seems like my mind can't settle down and start attacking the nots. Maybe I should move on to another mod first before moving back to maths. Oh well.

---

I make jokes. Because who doesn't like making people laugh and also making ourselves slightly happier at the moment, at the same time? I can take jokes to a certain extent, quite a large extent so as to say. But please, do not take that as an advantage and start sprouting nonsense just for the sake of a joke and think about what you are saying for that moment. Especially if it is not even funny in the first place. If you have to make fun of me to say the joke, yeah go ahead, DO NOT drag anyone else in my life in for that little meaningless joke you're making.

---

I need to do something more meaningful because I know that doing meaningful things makes me happier. Like exercising, sweating it all out and feeling good about myself and my body afterwards. Like completing schoolwork and feel free of tasks and assignments on my hand (well this is why I am feeling bad now). And like doing good things, good deeds, being good to people and not ask for anything in return. How many times can we truly do that -- treat people well without any other thoughts or certain motives? Not even like, "Ok I've been gossiping about people quite a lot nowadays, it's time to pay back those karma points." or "I better start treating people well so that I will get nice treatment from other people." Disclaimer: I don't treat people badly! (a bit straightforward sometimes but nope I don't think I am bad) Just that if you think this way before doing a good deed, it's like a hidden motive isn't it? This makes me wonder what is it like to be truly sincere towards other people, and the only way should be... Not thinking about this question at all I guess? Since if we start thinking it means we're thinking of reasons and it would not be coming from the bottom of our hearts. Don't know if what I've said make sense at all lololol

Tests on next Tuesday and Friday. Was so traumatized by the weekly non-stop tests since week 3 of school but I think now I am quite adapted to this style, thank god. Hopefully after this post I'll be fully concentrated on what I have to do. I NEED MORE POSITIVE VIBES

If the saying is true that we should stay away from people who make you feel negative about yourself, should I?

Or... this other quote that I just saw,

"Once you learn how to be happy, you won't tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less."

I must constantly remind myself that those we do not need to care about those that doesn't matter. And also that people judges us lesser than we think.

So thankful for Shermy and the fam. Letting me know that I am not alone, always.