I never left because I don't love you anymore. I had chosen the choice because it is the last resort at the stage of our relationship, and I thought it will do us both good. But I was wrong.
Having hallucinations that passers-by are you, seeing you at the corner of my eye. Hearing someone talking to me when it's just quiet and there are only background noises. How further I will break down, I don't know. I really wanna be strong but the thought of any thing that we have done together before will make my heart sink a little, tear a little.
Seeing a random Hong Kong movie actor, I will think of the movies and actors that you introduced to me and told me stories of. Seeing a book will remind me of the authors you once told me you like and how much you like crime stories. Doing my codes will make me think of how you pretend you know it all and 'teach' me. Seeing someone wearing a red and blue graphic shirt will remind me of the shirt I bought for you in Aussie, and the red couple t-shirts I bought for you in our first year and how you will wear them days from the day you received them, no matter how it is not your style. Even just by sitting on the bus, those memories of you being excited just because you're having a bus ride because you normally take taxis, flood my mind.
Just tell me what to do. I hate you so much, you're so selfish. I don't know why when you love me so much you have to do this to me, making me bear all the guilt and live with the sadness for at least the next few months, years, and they might not even fade off.
My life is officially overturned by you. Thanks?
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