Eleven Roses

2012-01-09T01:45:00.001+08:00

Life.
Precious, full of colours and adventurous, but really really torturous.

I know that we should cherish our life, for we have all the necessities to survive while some people really don't and that is what they ask for.
But different people live in different worlds, for the rich and the poor, old and the young, all of us have common troubles that not anyone in this universe would.

2012 -- New year, new life? It can be said as an excuse for one to push back all the negative things he/she had done for the year, and it also can be a form of comfort for those who had a bad year, who suffered.

For me, I really hoped that 2011 stays, for it might be the most peaceful year I ever had, till the end of it.

------------------------------------------------

I drafted out the above just few days ago.

Seriously 2012 has been really really chaotic and dramatic for me, and I hope it's over for good, peace will reign over my life.
I really cannot concentrate on my studies with so many things on my mind and with no appetite everyday, I need a normal and peaceful life like the one I had for the past 1 year... 7 months.
YY seriously brought peace, love and happiness to my life, making my life very fruitful for this past one year plus.
I really really love him so much...

Right now, I am feeling quite down again...
Seeing and hearing things that happened make me feel so ugly.
The feeling is like, I had insecurely felt that I am an okay girl, at least there are people who love me truly.
But right now, they destroys my confidence totally.
I feel like I am really very ugly, fat, crooked teeth, small eyes that need eyeliner to enlarge it, etc.
I feel like my personality is really detestful, I am not sociable, I am awkward. Socially awkward.
I really want invisalign, go for Slim Fit to fix my small boobs, do double eyelid surgery, go for extreme diet and disappear for awhile... Then it'll be perfect.

Tomorrow is another day of school, had not attended school for the past week, unless you count the Open House which I choose to go instead of school. Heh.

Can't wait to see my classmates and Soh Vivi again tomorrow. Ciaoz.

P.S. Good luck to Sim Aiai Gladys for her results tomorrow, I am so sure she'll do well. xo

2011-10-17T01:46:00.000+08:00

Sudden thoughts. From a Gemini.

I know I am a gemini, who has two ways thoughts, emotions, and views about almost every single thing. Even when I do something wrong, I will always think that it is in a good way and vice versa.

Gemini tends to be fickle and never stay at a liking for too long. For me, it's true regarding to things like school, stuffs I do, places I go. But if say for people, I am very very very attached once I trust and love. For an instance, YY and Kimi.

Kimi is my new toy poodle pup, I never thought I will get a dog ever, at least not when Im still young and staying with my family, because my family has always been against having a dog as 1) Dogs bark (duh) 2) Pee and poo 3) There might be times when no one is there to take care of the dog ( I dont like this kind of situation too :( ) and finally 4) Dogs die earlier thn humans, but live together with us for many years before they pass on. The thought kills and will make me tear :'(

I barely had Kimi fo two months, and I am super super super attached to her, and I love her so so much!!!! As for the matter that dad, mum and sis do not really think it is convenient, I only bring Kimi home on weekends. You know how I miss her on weekdays and I have to suffer 5 days of school before seeing her!

Anyway, Kimi went grooming today, and YY's sister sent him a picture of Kimi. She looked like a bear, and now a lion. It's super adorable plus a tad epic! Hahaha. The more I speak of Kimi the more I miss her :(

As for YY, busy guy who will still spend QUANTITY and QUALITY time with me, despite his busy schedule. Watched DVD at home, play with hamsters, munch on tidbits, challenge each other to games. Life's great with my guy.

Went to Kit Chan's concert ytd with Ah Liang and Kit's singing was reall fabulous, her vocals are super powerful and also, she is so feminine and humourous! Especiallywith her ang mo accent. Heh.

YY and I are pigs. Always and forever ordering dishes for 3-4 when it's only both of us. That explained my gain of 7kg after being tgt with YY, aye?

Recently we are being siao lang by slapping each other when we fool around. It hurts lor!!!! But I admit it is fun...... :')

New class this sem, seemed not bad, like Lor said, I do not wanna be outcasted, that will be the worst thing that could happen when you're in a class full of purely acquaintances.

Mood spoiler, tomorrow is Data Comms and Networking, the module with the most strict faci who on appearance, do not give a damn to what you say and only know how to bomb questions and expect us to only answer the answer he want to hear. But this might be his way, it might work somehow, we'll see... But in either way, my feeling...............STRESSED!

I have gained new friends, new trusted friends, good friends that I cherish, people who do not mind me being all forgetful (regarding smses :/), attitude sometimes, and me making a fool out of myself. Even if they laugh at me, I know that it only means bringing happiness to everyone, not teasing and laughing at me that kind.
People from E36R, I think they are the most memorable and best classmates I have in my life, considering my secondary school life is very short.
Love you people!
Joey and Eezrani - my fatties! }inserts 1 hour speech
Singling, Fel, Rasyiqah, Atiqah, Yingying - who always make me laugh so much and go crazy, girls talk, gossip
Enkuan, Razvee - the bros with endless crap + jokes but there to hear me out at the same time
Haiekal, Mankit, Amparo, Elden - those who played a part in making my first sem complete
All of you play a part <3

Like primary make dedication like that but I DONT CARE! I LIKE!
I need to show my appreciation and love. Heh.

Just hoping life will be as peaceful, As and Bs wont be as hard to get and Cs and Ds, I will prefer for them not to appear. I have been working hard since day 1 of sem 2, I hope I can see the fruit of my labour.
And also, NO CONFLICTS AND ARGUMENTS. Me and YY, friends and family. No one okok?
Life's great like that.

Lastly, everyone ping ping an an be healthy, my dear Kimi too ^^

After grooming!!! Cute anot?!

P.S Endless thing to blog about... Lets see when will be the next time I'll be back. xoxo

2011-06-05T22:10:00.003+08:00

GREAT LIFE IM HAVING PEOPLE :)
Having my holidays now, it is short but I have thoroughly enjoyed all four days so far, with my classmates, my bbgs_4eva (lol) and idiot bf.

Time flies... Half a year?! Are you sure?????
But at this time it always means my birthday is coming :)
Celebrating it either at Bali or Phuket. I can't wait!
This year's birthday is exceptionally meaningful for me, since it's the 18th birthday.
I can watch M18! Get driving license! Buy toto/4d! Buy cigg! WOO! All the standard things.

Life in RP has been awesome, RJs, daily grades and presentations fuck up sometimes, but Im glad my classmates are like the best :)
Thursday and Friday we're like crazy asses! Had h2h talks also that I really really appreciate it, with Joey, Rasyiqah and Elden.
I have to say. There's a few people that I dislike in my class. I mean like, you do have eyes and ears right? And when you see or hear something, surely you can see the obvious things to say sometimes? And, use your brains. They are not there for nothing yknow? NOH8 is my freaking motto. But of course I can get fed up sometimes right :/
And of course most of the time before/after/during school I'll meet my bb Soh Vivian kettle ahlian dajie whatever lah she damn alot of nicknames LOL never fail to make me laugh

Went shopping with the most important two girlfriends in my life, Gladys Sim and Lock Xinting :) We went for buffet! CLOTHES BUFFET! At Haji Lane. One of the best shopping experience. Queued for like 1.5 hours before we snatch the clothes like mad? But Im glad that I got like 7-8 clothing just for freaking $55! Jealous much? ;P
After that went City Plaza for all the cheap stocks... So physically tired cuz we have to go to like 1km far to get to an ATM?! Because City Plaza's atm was spoiled. One auntie said because it's weekends all the maids come shopping and withdraw money. LOL
Next stop was... My house!!!! Where we bring out our loots and see what we've got, try on my wardrobe clothes and webcam :)
AWESOMEST DAY!!!! Laugh like crazy also.
Enjoy da pictures people ;)

Babies Pudding and Saphor

See what kind of bf I have

Twinny Joey and meeeeee

SO FUNNY RIGHT

"Apologizing: Does not always mean you are always wrong and the other person is right. It just means you value your relationship more than your ego."

2011-05-15T17:10:00.000+08:00

HELLOZ!

Happy anniversary to my super duper charming ironman boyfriend Terence Liang I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!

So in da mood to blog cuz it's a special day :) Im waiting for him to knock off, and god knows where we are going.

BUT! I already had a very very very shiok celebration yesterday night. Together with night safari babes and guys, I feel so happy and fortunate and filled with love when everyone like cheers to us and congrats us for our one year. The feeling is AMAZING. Though at first I was like asking them, "Never wish me and Terence ah!" Then they will wish us and I'll be like, "THANKS THANKS!!!" HAHA

Lindy made me laugh like a bitch.

Qinyi make me feel short like for the first time since dont know when.

Veron, Jiahui and Guiqing are just simply adorable.

Anthony, Bernard and Patrick for the entertainment.

And finally, my bbff, TerenceYY for making me feel so loved, taken care of, and elated like never before.

My bbff is like everyone to me; my best friend, my lover, my sparring partner, my bickering bitch, my teacher (which teach me more than half of the knowledge I have now)...... and family :)

He's been with me and trying his best to understand me no matter what situation what mood I land myself in, he's the best I could ever ever ever have in my life.

I've learnt so much in this past one year, the one year that I've grown, live, laugh and love so much. I was shown that there is hope for love, for two people lived totally in different world to be able to communicate so well, to be patient, and to expect less and love more.

"Assume nothing, do more, need less, smile often, laugh a lot and realize how blessed I am for what I have."

This is a quote I saw from Twitter ages ago and it has become my life motto.

I am grateful :)

Terence LYY, love you ttvvvvvvm! <3

Pictures for ytd, and past few weeks:

Eyes and expression when half-drunk

ONE RP HAHA

That's the creation of my new mole just between the brows

Best sis ever

Cool or what my bunny shadow

Too much pictures lah sial! Cannot post all!!!
But shall end with this AWWWW~~~ picture. Love my Jelly, Pudding & YY.

2011-04-06T05:08:00.000+08:00

BEEN LONG HUH. Heeeexzx surprise!

I have the mood to blog so here I am! Lazy to blog cuz Im lazy to upload the pictures, wait for them to load and so on.
But Im in a happy mood now so might as well faster blog and pause its rotting process.

So It's going to be 11 months since I've been together with this wonderful guy, Terence Liang YY. Which is like almost a year.

These few days I've been feeling very low. Becuz I've been mixing with people that I know already, but that's the extent. I only know them... And it's so hard to socialise. I can only say it's me. Idk why Im like that, not being able to be myself OR no effects seen with being myself. I feel so lost and not sociable and pathetic :(

I've been throwing little tempers here and there at Liang YY, but he never fails to give in and cheer me up at my worst mood ever. I seriously think that he is an angel. Not literally, but as in he is there to protect and making sure Im happy, safe and sound. I dont know where else I can find someone like my YY here you know... Someone who puts me ahead of himself, making time for me no matter how busy his schedule is, sparing so much thoughts for me before he did anything(mostly). Our quarrels dont last more than an hour, and he will never bear to see me cry. Im glad that he dont give excuses and isnt selfish. I probably couldnt find any true bad traits about YY. He made my life so perfect. All about him, his idioticness and doing disgusting and funny things to make me laugh, his seriousness when facing work or important matters, his manliness (the arm muscles zomg), his gentle voice when soothing me, the way he always prioritise taking care of me, and most importantly, the way he looks at me -- they are what made me the happy me for the past one year. Someone I really treasure so much, as much as I treasure Gladys & Xinting, and even my family. And I hope that all these will never change...
I have actually planned and want to have future with Terence Liang :)
I will bear 6 kids for you provided you sponsor me diet okay!!!

Speaking of Gladys and Xinting, Im glad that all 3 of us are having quite a blissful life now :) With everything quite stable, aye?

3/4 & 4/4 was celebration for XT's birthday! :)
We went Timbre with her clique and good friends + kbox at AMK on the 3rd, and USS with Kwa and YY on the 4th! Summing up it's damn good. I really sincerely bottom of the heart hope my girl has been happy. She turned 18 already :( Still 2 months till mine!!!

Enjoy the photos :) Will just post those main focus hee.

Happy birthday dearest girl Lock Xinting :)!

USS:

I see this picture I very happy

Love the fatty penguin to bits

Home -- My castle!

Shall not be a spoiler and explain why Im wet :)

Zhuai but I like.

Our xinting so cute pls.

YY checking whether it's a male or female

Not me lor pls YY tag the hippo on fb with ma name?!

*Change position!*

Like an old man, I like

THIS PLACE IS FULL OF AWESOMENESS

Will love living in a place like this.

Shuai.

Okay! That's all. Long post to make up for the long absence. NO READERS LAH I KNOW LOL.
K byebye.
Gotta wake up tmr and get to Woodlands CC for Singpass, RP to hand in forms, and run some self-errands ;)
Keep myself busy to prevent thinking too much.

Last but not least, I love my best friend Lock Xinting!

2011-01-15T06:10:00.000+08:00

Day out with Xinting is damn great! Photos in camera, cable with YY so I should wait till I got it from him.

Toodles, it's 6.10am!!! Heng work at 3pm.

xoxo

2011-01-12T02:56:00.001+08:00

Today, I want to take this opportunity to thank God :)

Mum is very good to me, when I came home from work just now, she immediately ask me want eat grapes and other fruits ma... Then I say I want eat other things, she say, toasted bread with sugar? (my fav!!!!!) Then I damn happy say ok!!! She was actually going to sleep but stayed awake awhile more to toast bread for me :)

Sis is very good to me also. She came home and I asked her about which out of the 5 courses for RP that Im eligible for is better and she just sat down and help me figure it out without taking off her shoes or go room relax first~ Like I more important... Thanks sis I never take you for granted lovelove!

Dad is very good to me becuz ytd when I got my results, it's WORSE than the prev, so I just break down and he very qiao just reach home to take things... Then he sit down and console me and telling me it's alright like damn sincerely, before going back to work. I love you dad, for being the father and the man of this family!

YY is very good to me!!!!!!!!!!!!! He knew I was very upset about my results, and he bought two necklaces to cheer me up, one heart and one simple one :) Today I never ate anything and he going to dabao for me... I randomly said, if can reach here before 7pm! I didnt really mean it, for YY to rush. And he really came in time for my breaktime at 7pm before the next one which is 10pm and 10 minutes. He scold me at work becuz it is for my own good. He took and tolerate all my nonsense. Love you deep deep Liang YY!

This is what I have to thank God for :)

This is just the Family and Boyfriend post. Friends post will be MUCH LONGER. Tomorrow.
Shit I have to sleep waking up at 7.30am and it's now 3am. GG for me ciaoz people. Annyeong~

*Any iphone app for blogger? That will make it so much easier for me to post photos taken by iphone and I can blog oftenly.

2011-01-11T03:33:00.002+08:00

Sigh. Chatting to Xinting now. About all my unhappiness at the moment. It's suffocating me. I've been feeling so low self esteemed (?), it's like every single day if someone like ignore me or like diao me accidentally that kind I will emo sia. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME!!!! Im like damn emo nowadays wtfbbq. I hate this. Im trying to make my life right make my thinkings right but my freaking mind is playing games with me. I hate you brain mind and heart irritating.

2011-01-05T19:05:00.000+08:00

Hi Im back.
I know I sibeh cute. Shall reduce words and spam pictures!
Posting up pictures now, again make me reminisce and miss those times at BKK with YY so much. about one month plus ago.

Im amazed by the stone fish. Stylo much?

Love these 3 photos

Outside Siam.

Injured from the Ocean World -- from bumping into rock wall!

Getting ready for Calypso!

They are guys! Look at their tummy! The left one very feminine.

Most of our loots are from Naraya for my friends and colleagues

Waiting for romantic dinner cruise <3

Taken by IP4 front cam hahaha lousy much

I thought will have thai written all over. But-- JAP!

The Pizza Hut mchm fine restaurant

Love it!

Bar for football and chilling

LOL

Last day, leaving

Last stop for foot and back massage! Wrap my leg until berry cute!

On the plane........ :)

----------------------------------End of BKK post----------------------------------

Random photos for last month~

Damn zhuai at there live in his own world thinking he very shuai, lol!

Work @ Zoo

Love this photo many many many! Vitabong with my YY <3

Girls night out~~ With my besties, Gladys and Xt :) Love them forever!

NS Retail chalet~ Lil YY and Liang Mama went along too!

Xiaohong and me! Everyone very teng her.

Door girfts -- balloons with keychain

Me and Kailin~ Get well soon girl.

HAHAHA


Zi pai!

Zoo with Liang Mama, Lil YY and YY~

IM THIS CLOSE TO IT. I want to bring it home :(

Took this becuz it's by my IP4!!! AND YET SO CLEAR.

Christmas small countdown with NS colleagues~

Day out with JIANING!!! Which is like damn long never see her liao?! And Gladys, tl, Shawn and Jialin. Watched Tron. The motor damn zai.

THAT'S ALL! I still have alot of photos with YY, for the new year photos :)
Using Lumix FZ100! Hehehe wait for it wait for it~~~~~~~~~~

Life's been good to me. 2011 is nothing new, just some digits that's all.

"I don't believe in New Years Resolutions. They're an excuse to take the bad parts of your life and flaunt them with the promise that you'll change them; they're an excuse to realize you messed up and are going to change without being ashamed. But there is no shame in wanting to change, no matter what day it is. We are constantly changing, whether we know it or not. Take a year and live it one day at a time; you'd be surprised how much can change on its own when you're not making dreamy long-term goals." -heyitscello

I think it's true lor. So I shant have resolutions. But these are my last year's...

1. ~~Life will be better. (same old thing)~~ [YES It's so much better.]
2. ~~Achieve something else if my O's fail.~~ (gotta know what happen on 11th-13th) [At least Im working now and waiting for O's again :) ]
3. If O's passable, move on to RP. [failed]
3. Get an ideal weight of **kg. [GAINED 7 kg somemore.]
4. ~~Be a better friend, girlfriend and daughter.~~ [Think so? :/ But Im sure Im a better girlfriend for someone that deserves it.]
5. ~~Make 50 new friends. (LOL at myself but I wanna do it! :) )~~ [I DID IT!!!]
6. ~~Know how to admit mistakes boldly and apologise.~~ [half done? Hahaha]
7. Raise self-esteem, stop wallowing in misery. [still do]
8. ~~Get a laptop with my own money.~~ [got one. Sis gave her old but that that old lappy to me!]
9. Not be selfish and at the same time take care of my own self. [dont know how to do it. appear two headed]
10. ~~Stop disappointing so many people that are suppose to be my guardian angels and result in them leaving.~~ [I didnt lose much people in 2010 :) No one very important to me anyway!]

I dig it up from old post lol! Yah I got 11 resolutions one. I got typo -.-
See that I've been doing pretty good huh! I shall improve on those not strike off.

Toodles! Watching Gullivers Travel with my sis at cwp now.
Ciaoz.

2010-12-02T03:05:00.000+08:00

BKK TRIP :)
November 23rd - 30th December

Never ever went Bangkok before, the first time I went Thailand was with my family when I was Primary 4, we went to Phuket. My hairstyle damn stylo that time.

Even few days before I went BKK I cannot believe that it was actually happening! It's the first time I went overseas with someone else besides my family and with MY BOYFRIEND. Suaku anot ah? I dont care also becuz I had a damn good time!

The night before flight...
YY go my house fetch me first, daddy jiao dai him things and then me and YY go eat.
Go my house take my things and I go YY's house. I keep pacing around my house becuz I try to rmb what I forget. Damn scared to forget bring things!

Lie down on bed, jotting down notes to help myself rmb how much baht = how much sgd and to rmb who to buy things for. Didnt had a good night sleep, I damn insomnia kind of person, I think this time is becuz I too excited!

I GOT DOUBLE EYELID HAHA

He take this himself with my phone! Funni3z

Next day wake up 7+am, YY's sister and Liang mama and lil YY send us to the airport till we check in! Have breakfast at Killiney's and board the 2 hours flight. I LOVE SITTING ON A PLANE!!!! The clouds damn beautiful and fluffy and they're like cotton candy! Happy to have window seat hehe.

Pinned up fringe cuz it irritates my eyes and I'll always have pimples at the area between my eyebrows!

Nose keep running again :( I FORGOT TO BRING HOODIE

Uper thick eyeliner I know

Bangkok spotted!!!

Landed... I preferred SG airport so much more!

Sulky becuz need to line up in a longgggggggg queue! Boarded the taxi! So colourful lor their taxis got green and yellow combined, bright PINK...
It was a 45 minutes ride to Swiss Lodge Hotel, but didnt felt that it was long becuz Im like a curious lil kid looking all around being all happy hehe.

Must take picture when in hotel room!

Rested for awhile in our hotel room, tested the wifi... FAST AND 24 HOURS ALSO HAVE! Haha damn hyper liaoz. Went to have lunch at Cafe Swiss, it's a fine-dining restaurant but the food there are damn CHEAP and awesomeeeee! Price is less than $10 for a main course.

THIS IS A FREAKING SAME VIEW I HAVE IN A DREAM OF MINE AGES AGO. I SWEAR IT'S THE SAME PLACE!

Very pretty, the packaging

Went for a lil shopping at Patpong, the area we are damn near to, and there's Naraya there! I didnt know what Naraya is all about until YY told me... He actually just wanted to go there and buy 2 bags for his sister but heeeeeeee I got alot for myself and my friends and family!
Rested early for the first day! I had a hot bath (hehe love bathtubs) and lie on bed to watch HBO and Star Movies till we doze off.

(I really miss bkk at this point of blogging :( )

Bag for mummy bought @ Naraya

Fredperry for dad

Owl for owl-lover, sis

2nd day, went for breakfast at Cafe Swiss! Eh, just manage to take a picture of their tea! But their breakfast is also very western and sinful? It's like meat with cheese, veggies with cheese, or that the sauce taste great... Like abit pointless right go Thailand eat western food lol! But never regret becuz the food is really fab.
Went swimming after one hour rest after breakfast and the swimming pool was duhhh it's ugly and small and simple. Had fun with irritating asshole Liang though. Really irritating max keep attempting to tickle my feet! When I wanted him to carry me on his back in the water, he like wrestling like that throw me over his head into the water like bam SPLASH.
Washed up and changed, getting ready to go out! We took the mrt, damn cool! Forget what name they gave for the train, think it's BTS? And we went to Siam and switched another train to visit the Erawan Shrine (I forgot the station's name). We have to put garlands and joss sticks at all four sides of the shrine, and after that we 'hire' the dancers to dance for the buddha~
Hope everything shun shun li li :)

Stay tuned for more pictures at Siam Ocean World, Calypso Ladyboys' Show and more shoppingggggggg!

I know, dont think much people actually look at my blog also! :(

Ciaoz.

Love YY.

2010-10-23T18:20:00.002+08:00

Time for some self-confrontation. I dont know how to phrase my feelings in words becuz I dont know how to describe them either. So I shall see how I will say this out. Maybe this is also a summary of how I become me now.

Know what? Sucks to be me. Not that sucks to be me to have this have that. Everything I have, I think it made me very fortunate. It's the thing about being Ong Jia Min, being myself, having the personality I have and the attitude I carry.

I dont recall myself back when I was in Sec1 & 2, becuz I bet that was the most innocent and happy times of my life, in school fooling around with my pals back then, JiaEn and LiTing. And the times at Chinese Dance with Aiai, Xinting, Jiayee and everyone you know who you are, those are the happiest time of my life. As in purely happy, no troubles that we have to headache like the things we have to now. We have conflicts and everything and trust issues, but those were really nothing, we the friends knew that we love each other. Then we had those puppy love in those 2 years. Was so naive and get fooled and actually finally understand it like maybe last year only hahaha.

Then life turn hectic with me quitting school. I should have continued, but I wouldnt have went back if I can choose. Well which I can actually. I switch school and went to Northland Sec for 2 pathetic days lol cant adjust and started being lifeless, finding job, working few days/weeks and no more. And then I become very very close with who is it but my Sim Aiai now. See if I didnt quit school I wont have the chance to have my best friend I have now I bet. Hung out with Woodgrove Sec bunch played bi xian lol. After that cliqued with Alvin, Nengtong, Jianing, Edwin, Tanleelee, Gerald, Wensheng, Yuenhe, JasonTan etc. Was wild man and had quarrels and cold war with parents. Was an unfilial arrogant kid. Had those ups and downs and who but Sim was there with me.

I had alot of crazy fun during this period but I was nothing but an aimless person while others are studying with a purpose. I confidently said it's ok to go without having O's cert. Who say one cant live without it. (which in actualy fact for a person like me I need it, not like Yingxuan and Qijie, who are working hard in diff direction for their future) And then I went to this manicure lesson and quitted after a day becuz the coach suck becuz she didnt look at me a second for the whole lesson from morning to evening lol. Troubled Mr Raja, rss school cousellor alot. Friends encouraged. So decided to go back rss study Sec 3. They let me becuz I passed Sec 2 EOY exam. But again, went like a week or so then no more. Everyone was being so friendly! Welcoming back and all. Me disappointed them though. I really cant cope it's like I have this phobia of schooling and cry almost every morning dont want go school. Like kid right? Right.

Then after that I got into a really bad relationship and another bad friendship. 'Nuff said. It was a waste of time for me. Is like all the influence of what we should be. I began to get disappointed really often, trust got betrayed, got really hurt, and then really exhausted of it time and time again. For 2 straight years. Somewhere in between, reconnected much with Xinting, and god I love her she is always lending her listening ear and we'll go to places! Took private lessons at BMC Admiralty (I got to know Lorencia :) ), didnt pass all 5 subjects for O lvls 2009 cuz I didnt concentrate. I got all procrastinating. It felt really bad to receive the sms in the morning with myself alone at home no one being there for me, directly saying that I didnt get into any poly. Wanted to try higher nitec, course that I wanted no more space. Reallyregretted never study earlier. Yeah yeah typical. No choice but to retake O's. One subject fail only, it's freaking comb science, and I got D7 which means with 1-5 marks then I freaking pass already then can at least go RP. Damn feel unfair.

Then it was this year. Worked in Bakerzin for 2 months. After that fucked up work at FEP not getting my $600+ pay. Then school started, and I worked part-time in Night Safari for a few days and ended relationship, bad romance hah. Really the job at NS, I feel so comfortable, and I really love the people there. Simple, having fun, and when work everyone knew it's serious business. Get to know my present boyfriend, Terence Liang more and more. Started going out and dated, going to places I've not gone with a bf before? And the way he treated me, is like the other person who treat me better will only be my dad. I call this fate, but sometimes I feel that it's luck. Becuz Im someone with really low self-esteem, Terence is a really great guy. He is sooooooo different from all the guys I met, maybe it's becuz he's much more older than me. I've grown really fat (comes from my twitter alot if you guys do follow) becuz he has been feeding him non-stop! I grew like 7 kg more and dont know how many inch of waist and thighs and butt more lor. He still hasnt stop feeding me! All good food! No one made me feel so pampered before, kissing me goodnight, holding my hands in public like always! :) , wanna buy things that I set my eyes on, catching those soft toys that are crowding in his room, watching so fucking many movies, having my birthday tgt with him and my two best friends Sim and XT, and this guy actually sing a birthday song, err it's a 2-3 minutes birthday song! For me!.........

Countless of things, when I was down (which happens every so oftently) he's always there and never leaving. Im always scared that he will, he will get bored of me, he will run away to girls who are much more attractive than me. You know how when someone stands next to your bf, and their similarities of possibly making a great couple actually scare you alot? Being afraid to lose him? I have security and trust issues, I hardly ever trust anyone.

One of the reasons is that, Im very absolutely very unplease with myself. My looks; my eyes? I have to put a great deal of eyeliner, worst thing, my colleague told me everyone is getting sick of my eye make up like I fuck you. My forever pom pom hair? I want long and thin hair but I never got that. My figure? DESTROYED. Trying to find it back but however good food always snatch away my attention. Next up, my personality; Im totally not sociable now compared to how I was in my Sec 1 & 2 times. My tongue got tied whenever someone intimidating, mostly girls, come up and speak to me. I just dont know what to say. My mind went blank. And I will start to hate myself like real lot and screaming inside me is TALK! SAY SOMETHING, not stupid pls. My confidence will go real low. It's like, how can those pretty girls talk so easily and feel so at ease everytime? And there's something in me that always like to find fault than look on the bright side. For the last two months I controlled that REAL well I was so happy for the last two months! But now I dont know what's wrong... I suspect it's PMS that fucking bitch again. I was crying for a good 20 minutes while on the phone with YY just now, after going to Singtel and they telling me no IP4 already when just about half hour ago they said there's alottttt. No, it's not only about my dear-havent-get-IP4, I just feel that everything is breaking down around me, it's like Im not strong at all, I cant hold small amount of stress, and I just feel that Im depending so much on YY and my dad I feel so so so damn bad. Know what he told me? "Even if the sky falls I will cover you also. So why care what other people say at all? You must know that once you have me, you dont need to worry about anything else, I'll be there for you." It immediately heals me, I dont know why. It soothe me right away. And I rmbed what he said, it's a big deal becuz I tend to forget alot of things nowadays. I love this guy so much. I really feel stronger and happier...

The worst thing about me I guess, is I really wanna meet my friends so fucking much, Sim, Xt, Tanleelee and Yilin. Most of the time I couldnt make it, some time is I dread :/ And a few friends I wanna catch up with, Enfer, Vivian Soh, Lorencia, and lots more. People I wanna know better, Yingxuan, Aolin, Peiyee & Vivian. And go out individually with Kailin. I know sounds quite stupid really. I just have this side Im so ashamed of facing, the me that's tongue-tied, dont know what to say, and the boring me. I feel that when Im me, no one likes it. When Im acting to be a little someone not like me that I dont really feel comfortable with and dont last long, people like to talk to me. Why? I really feel so ridiculous about this I cant figure it out. I keep telling me, be yourself be yourself pleaseeee! But being myself dont need any directing isnt it. So damn ironic and that's why I just....... Hide? I dont know. That's why I say it sucks to be me, I have some serious problem over here.

I hope one day I'll figure that out.
And if people will hurt me one day, I hope they'll hurt me now, all at once.
Because this is the best time to do it.

2010-10-20T21:21:00.000+08:00

Hello long time no see tot I mati right? NONONO nin lao bu still alive and kicking your ass LOL

Bored now at Starbucks @ PS studying for tmr's practical exam at Naval Base, pray that I pass yeah.

That's my honey bunny keychain hehe so happy.
Oh for your info I lost my freaking bag with MOST of my fav and impt things inside, favs are my camera, my stich keychain, my comb, mirror and eyeliner!!! Impt is my hp and wallet which includes my damn IC and atm card and so forth blah blah. Cam I think counted impt also but it's my fav thing to bring out :(
Useless things I guess is t-shirt? Plus 3 panties. LOL I wanna bring them to put at YY's house ma.
I damn angry at the person who fucking steal my bag you bloody idiot if the police ever catch you and ever let me know who you see how much I demand you compensate you asshole.

Now I no camera bring to Bangkok in Nov liao. I very sad.

Anyway YY bought me a watch! Hehe and I replenished my make up items...
I very STM seriously I didnt bring alot of things that I wanna bring out. Sigh! Sometimes I wish I could kick this habit.

I am very forgetful, lazy, procrastinating and unsociable. LOL

I dont feel like posting photos that used to be in my camera that I've transferred to the computer anymore... It makes me feel so sad!

YY is at work now and I guess Im going off to daiso to grab some things and then off to find him. Sayo people!

2010-09-22T22:34:00.000+08:00

My sister just gave me her laptop :) Damn very happy me! There's the webcam and the sidebar hahaha Im like suaku like that but yeah I guess I am!

It was Gladys aiai birthday on the 18th! We actually celebrated for her on the 17th alongside with Xinting, TanTongLee, Shawn Niew, Jialin, Teeyuan and Yap :D We went for seafood buffet at United Square, it was expensive but I think it was worth it lah becuz got damn alot of good stuffs! Only sad that when we go there we had only one hour left to eat. After that the guys bought cake and the china staffs actually volunteered to sing birthday song for aiai and the woman think is the manager is like damn hiao~ But kind of them to join in the singing ^^

It was an okay night, hope that Sim Aiai had a happy birthday with us, with her other friends and her family. 17 years old like finally and I guess everyone with the same age will have the same thoughts that 17 is a bad age. It's like, not 16 not 18! I bet we cant wait to turn 18 right? (;

Hope that Simmy could be happy always and I wanna tell her after all these years our friendship in my heart has never changed. Love you very muchie!

Shall update the pictures later on :) Sayo!

"But most of all, I hope for you. I hope that you are hoping, too. I hope that you never lose what you intend to keep. You'll only find what you set out to seek."

2010-09-16T02:15:00.001+08:00

There are many things which you do, you dont know how happy they made me. Those words and actions that are indirectly telling me you wanna be with me for at least the next quarter of my life :) I'm very happy when I see the effort. I'm very easily touched. I'm just someone who needed to be pampered with simple words and actions. I need a strong sense of security, surviving in a world filled with love and seriously I will be able to live happily and make all those negative thoughts vanish.

Anyway, what I'm trying and wanna try hard now is singingggg I sucks at that and I wanna be like Kailin, like how she sing :D I really wanna be good at something that I like. I sucks at everything that I like~

It was a very very fruitful day yesterday night when me and YY went to town and wait for Kailin to end work before we go sing. Although I feel very inferior becuz Im singing with 2 pro singers but I dont wanna care I just wanna sing my heart out!

Before Kaikai come, YY and I were playing with the PrizeStage toys machines again @ Cine lvl9. We got 3 keychains and one walking Mickey!!!!! Damn happy!
But we not only have this you should look at our bags of items at home... Machiam grocery store, got cups got car helicopter and all sorts of things.

I had a tad tipsy night but I enjoyed it anyway :)
So this is all for now! I have a long day working from midnoon to midnight...

P.S YY loves to disturb me. He'll shoot me with rubber band I say "PAIN!" Then he say, "Not pain I shoot for what?" Then I always like to clamp his fingers with mine becuz I feel no pain. He'll say "Dont! Very Pain!" Then I'll say, "That's the point!" giving a that's-the-fact face HAHA

No matter what, I wanna tell my YY who is now sleeping that I really love him alot alot alot more than he could ever imagine. There's nothing more valuable than having someone in your life that reminds you of who you are :)

2010-09-12T20:45:00.001+08:00

Yeah. But I gonna try real hard for my o's. I cant afford to fail science again really.
Now I'm like really sick, having sore throat for weeks, and now my cough is getting worse, only suppressed by the medicine which set me to sleep for about 3-4 hours.
I woke up at 12pm just now, bathed, had lunch with Daddy at Vista Point. Slept at 3pm after medicine. Woke up at 6pm :( My day's wasted just like that!

I love YY's nephew, Yang Yang (: Believe I mentioned him before! He always like to, "Oh man!" Hahahaha damn adorable

Mum worked at Ritz apple strudel for a few weeks and THIS is so omfg tasty and damn sinful.

Didnt go out much with YY, because he's been very very busy just because of ONE freaking cashier who dont turn up. So now he has to work at both Zoo and Night Safari. I cant even help a thing because yesterday afternoon when I went to work, my mind couldnt concentrate at all. It's like my mind know what it has to do, but my hands dont do the same. It's so frustrating.

Ok so YY recently has this constant craving of Dian Xiao Er. I really love the kang kong and mai pian xia over that! That day, YY ordered a plate of mai pian xia with 3 other dishes and I thought we're going to share all of them... I like to leave mai pian xia as my last dish to eat, and I was like, ok, time to eat my prawns, then YY went, oh Im full, it's all yours! And he die also dont want eat... He say if I pluck for him then he eat one. See I damn pampered or what! He knew I love to eat mai pian xia, he ordered but he leave it all for me. Although I'm really a fatass now.

My colleagues at Night Safari, sweet Liling and very natural Fiqah!

The day when I have swollen eyes so I just grabbed this sunglasses and off for my lesson...

Yes this is VitaBong! The story goes like that... YY went to CWP timezone to play that pushing candies machine and he got a jackpot and the jackpot prize on display is actually a large Vitasoy can, think is a piggy bank or what. So that's the part where 'Vita' came from. We have a similar white carebear on our camera named Blingbling I always like to call it bringbring hahaha. So the larger one was like Bongbong ma cuz bigger. Therefore VitaBong. It's really very huggable!

Sidenote, YY got a really BIG bag of candies. As in really heavy and BIG.

My another colleague Jayne! She's pregnant! Very cute and chatty lady here.

Mum's birthday celebration at NYNY @ AMK.
Happy Birthday Mummy! I know that you're the best person to me on earth and I really love you although sometimes I make you worried and angry.
My mum very pretty hor.

We went cineleisure, YY caught another plushie, a small twirling flower with a kitty on top, and a AE86 car. It's my first time being with a guy that always brings me to arcades to play and catches so much plushies ^^
Not forgetting my 20 plus carebears! Some catch one some buy one.

Gonna rot at home and hopefully I can get my eyes on the books before my medicine effect acts on me again.

May you never steal, lie or cheat.

But if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows.

And if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life.

And if you must cheat, then please cheat death, because I couldn't live a day without you.

2010-09-08T00:44:00.001+08:00

Hugging Vitabong and watching YY playing GTA on PSP, munching on wheel crackers and coughing my lungs out :( Skipped work and lesson this afternoon again becuz I feel all weak and not functionable. Finally met aiai few days ago and we chat away at Pastamania while having my dinner. Saw Saikit aka Francis Jojo (lol!) It was so epic everytime I saw him!

YY just kissed me suddenly and I feel very fortunate he's being extra sweet to me today ^^

Okay signing off I love Terence Liang

2010-08-30T23:35:00.003+08:00

Heyyo Im fast aint I?! Hiack. So here's roll of photos that I have no updated with... Those are quite ages ago.

Carebear is the new love in the house and there are like almost 20 of them I guess I have a problem finding place to sleep! YY love challenges and so you can guess where all the keychains I have now came from! (;
From the photos I like got alot of faces from different angle leh lol.

Anyway I'm dieting everyday now! Shaking hoops, doing the power-rider thing, and doing sit-ups at night. I PRAY that it works. And you know what's worse, YY brought me to the height and weight thing at Compasspoint twice and it was like between a week... The first reading already scare the hell outta me and then the most recent one has to give me a heart attack. Just one week and I gained freaking ONE KILOGRAM. I know like lying to myself but I want to tell myself the machine is like really not accurate one lor lol -.- But another thing to reassure myself is that now I'm having my reds so 1kg is probably expected. Yeah here's to the end of the Jm's Weight Report paragraph.

The happy side of my life! Days with YY is very very very happy it's like every day there will be always be someone there for you. Even if my mood swings power, I will go bonkers out of no reason and sometimes get very unglam. Everytime me and YY we tickle, bite and do all sorts of things to disturb each other and I swear it's my favourite past time because seeing him laugh when I caught his weak spot for tickling I will damn happy and shuang. Then I guess he also damn happy also, last few days after going Mustafa he was like knocking my head with his head, then I knock back. Then he freaking BANG my head with his iron steel diamond I dont know whatever head lah damn pain then I give that very wei qu face already then he okokokok peace! already...... Then the next thing we get off cab, walking to void deck ma. I walk in front then I sense something not right liao, want turn behind see what thing then BAM! He slam my damn heavy bag he carrying at my butt it was fucking pain also!!!!! Then I cry. Yah serious HAHA I think he also scared until.
Days with Liang YY is very very very very very fun although when he serious he damn serious but that's one of the things I like most about him too :)
I dont wanna count the days Im tgt with him, becuz how do you count till infinity? Hehe I love you you damn ass.

Ok now down to my low part of life... Recently I read a blog whose owner is one of my hi-bye friend's girlfriend... Woah like everything she wrote is like so totally what I feel in my these few months of life! All the negativeness, how hopeless I felt, the low self-esteem that's torturing me, how being myself is not actually being myself and then again, what is me that kind of thing.
Im sure it's just part of life. Like part of what teenagers have to go thru. The difference between that girl (which I shall proclaim my fav past time blog) and me is that she has a really active life like clubbing, going out oftenly with friends, having the money to dress up herself really exclusively while me, busy with work, going to restaurants and arcades and movies and kbox with my favourite guy, staying home to spend more time with my family, and I seldom meet my friends nowadays. It's not that I have a boring life, I like it simple, just like that. Maybe this emptiness I have is because I havent met my womans for soooooooooooooooo long.......
It's been so tiring everyday after work, and everytime after work I just rarely speak a word anymore and it's like if I meet up with friends and such I'll be deemed as emo-ing. After work all I feel like is getting a rest, relax myself and free my mind off things. I'm VERY easily stressed up by a single bad stuff, same goes to my rate of getting happy and sad and angry and all kinds of moods. Oh and speaking of this, being a Gemini is not something Im that happy about anymore........ I feel like for every single thing I have double thoughts.
For e.g, going to school ok, then this will be my chain of thoughts: Time to go school! ->; But I feel abit tired leh... -> Missing a lesson will leave me difficult to catch up! ->; My freaking school is at DG! -> Lesson is very slack, teacher wont care me or stress me for a single bit what, go lah! ->; But sucks man this feeling I really dont feel like going school -> *Procrastinate till the last minute* ->; Drag foot out and off to school resulting late for about half - 1 hour.

You get the idea lah.
But it's like most of my decisions I have to go thru this long chains of thoughts. I know life's about decisions... They say we should do just what we want and go for it dont care what people say blah blah but consequences leh, have to think about that also what. I'm a really poor decision maker.
I just feel like alot of personalities are cramped up in this mind of mine and when all the thoughts of these personalities run to my brain it's like so frustrating and I got really stressed up.

Sigh. Yeah ranting done.

I must start to put some plans into actions before there are actually regrets.

2010-08-29T03:02:00.000+08:00

I'm getting all those emotions in my head. Again.
Seeing everyone fretting about different things, I really want to not be so self-consciously only anymore.
Imma selfish.
Long since I let my heart flows and feel what it should naturally without holding back.

Above was the outing I had with Xinting weeks ago at town :) It was a freaking long time I went out with her. Not alone her, Gladys Sim Tan TongLee & Tan Yilin. I know! I know my fault. But my energy always fails me much. Limbu just browse thru the photos I had with them on facebook you know how nostalgic I am.

Shall upload more pictures of me and YY later on after I bathe. No one looks even when I just updated anyway I just want to keep track of my life in blog but well, failure most probably but I m making the effort!

2010-08-10T17:13:00.000+08:00

Life isnt perfect. It never will be. You wont be happy without getting upset first and vice versa. Everyone faces tough situations like what you did and am still facing it now See those people who are in their 50s and above now? They've faced what you did and still living their lifes, along with their love ones. This only mean that you can do it too. Ending life is never a wise decision no matter how much you wanted to at that moment, when you feel that nothing you do now can fade this torturing pain inside you. Once you end your life, you'll never be able to see what you hasn't but wanted to. Have hope in life.

Ok I've grown so much fatter that I cant believe it myself! But have to. Diet plans failed :/ And YY continues his assurance that Im not fat by saying "No lah! Where got" whenever I say "Wah YY I sure I damn fat liao. You see!" and followed by lifting my shirt up abit and showing him my ever-growing stomach fats. Argh. Anyway I hadnt had lunch nor dinner yet, but mum's cooking curry I guess. Im going to school in 15 minutes time. Not decided whether I'm going anot though. "A Hungry Man Is An Angry Man." applies to me. Allow me to think!

Have started working at SZG since 02/08. Tough work at first. So much gossips around + it wasnt my usual routine of work at the NS. Got to know Stephanie who's so ever talkative and have this lion soft toy named Omar (?) and Shirlyn who is very sweet and always smiling and laughing away though! Waking up at 7am wasnt a tough chore afterall. I miss NS staffs! I know I've been self-pressurizing far too much :/ I am trying to toned down my wild thoughts now...............

After like a few hectic days at zoo, YY and I managed to slip a few hours of our night for dinner and some fun.

Shall post the outing of XT and me soonnnnnnnnnnnnnn!
xo

2010-07-12T22:09:00.000+08:00

Seriously I want to get a camera real soon becuz my phone sucks big time.
It's funny that Im home at this time of the night. Well Im going out at 10pm.

I watched Spain win yesterday! First time that I catch so many matches of WC on tv.
Holland's defence was like damn strong and Spain possessed the ball most of the time.
I like Casillas & Villa & Iniesta but I dont like Robben becuz he hao lian and poor Torres becuz he's still hurt. While watching the match I also got listen what the commentator says, damn entertaining! But halfway thru the match I keep sneezing YY fed me flu tablets... I was dizzy so was half asleep after 2nd half. I had a veryyyyyyyyy good night sleep yesterday's night! Spain won and I feel so at peace, esp with YY by my side ^^.

Cineleisure's like a 2nd home now. It's like a cycle, buy tickets > HK cafe > arcade (poke poke machine, rambo, daytona etcetc) > Photo Hunt (?) > movie. Then after that go back, chat at void deck > wash up > watch world cup > munch tidbits.

Me am loving it ^^

SIM AIAI MUST BE HAPPY AH.
LXT ALSO.
TAN YILIN ALSO!

Me ish xing fu now :)

2010-07-05T05:12:00.000+08:00

Ong Minmin should start to treat this as a diary than a What-I-Do-Everyday updater :(
Am a tired pig now @ 4.46am now and YY's been off to his dreamland... He suddenly woke up just now and before he did he spoke something that sounded like french so I asked, you talking to me? Or dreamtalking? Then he smiled sheepishly at me with those cute sleepy eyes........... I really love it when love is all that simple.

Had service rally of WRS at zoo today... So long no cheering this kind of event in my life like since, erm, sec2??? Hahahahah and was kinda moodless becuz I was one hour late and I'm that kind if start of day spoil I will be very very down already!
So after all that fun was back to work and I love Aidil man! He did that DJ action combined with drumming action damn epic.
Work is really very enjoyable... I love all of my colleagues for who and what they are! Although it's like different people all mixed together. Dread going to zoo, saw some of my future-to-be colleagues and I dont really feel comfortable... Bless me with new easy-going friends ah god!

Going to visit the zoo again tmr...... BUT TO HAVE FUN!!!! WOOOOO might feel abit like work but who cares I WILL HAVE FUN WITH YY even though he might have this work-illness hahahaha

Am so full from the kangkong + stingray I ate just now at Newton Circus(?)... I eat like one plate of kangkong by myself lor favourite ever (Y) I can eat just kangkong and rice without meat!
Speaking of stingray, my work place there got the fish spa, then they got one time got 3 stingrays for display. Then people can even ask, so the stingrays are the fishes that bites off our dead skin? Stupid people why not you try and you'll know... Roll eyes irritatedly

Met Aiai yesterday and complained to her about my life. Love that she's always be there for me. And Im steady anytime for her if a call comes to ask me fly over when Im not at work! heh

Next up! Meeting Yilin, TL, and XT soon.

tatas eyes closing gotta get some sleep bb

It’s not the person you are with but the person you become when you are with that person. Certain people bring out your best self. That’s who you need to find. A man who brings out your best self. - Theresa Alan

2010-06-30T18:08:00.001+08:00

Dear Diary, today will be different. It has to be. I will smile, and it will be believable. My smile will say, “I’m fine, thank you. Yes, I feel much better.”

So... HI! :D *in Tanleelee's disgusting tone* lol

I love how whenever I want to transfer photos to my computer there will always be alot becuz I feel like I didnt take much photos recently. Hehe.

Has been working straight for 5 days... Let's say 4 and a half days becuz one of those I went all sick halfway and shivered my way home. Somehow I thought this will last for a week or so and I got hope to diet but sadly........ I'm all well bur it's diarrhea now. SAD!

For these past days I have really been thinking alot alot till the extent of too much :(
I wish I could stop really. Wish my mind is more simple and I could live life abit more happier.
Because my life now couldnt be better :)
I need to meet my girls up soon!

2010-06-24T02:10:00.002+08:00

YY started playing my PSP Harvest Moon: Innocent Life. And he started walking around in the game and bumping into the tables and walls and pressing buttons...
I asked why did you do that?
He say, finding items! Confirm have one! All RPG games like that one!
He said that with determination and very sure of himself LOL
Damn epic the face.
I love YY even more every time he become so spastic.

That's all folks gonna find out where my YY play until he now very engrossed.
Toodles!

*update!
He play until very silent then suddenly say: 一定有东西的。每个RPG Game都是这样的！
Faint

2010-06-19T22:19:00.003+08:00

Picture filled posts! I think I'm gonna have to rest soon because I've been facing the computer for veryyyy long and I'm looking back to my past plurks. Interesting seeing how I was in the past. I told YY yesterday... When I look back in the past and look at the present, I'm very confident that my life will be way better no matter what happens now.

Had a long talk with YY yesterday and I drop a few tears... I'm afraid for what the future may bring. The possibilities of things happening really scare me. My mind can really wander to as far as out of the universe...

Almost everyday spent with YY. Cute max lah although he very very erxin.
He know it himself! :(
Today ah... Because I have 3 blisters on two toes on my left foot and one toe on my right foot, I cant wear my flats back home then he search until one pucca slippers for me. He see the slippers, he laugh like one idiot. He see me WEAR the slippers, he laugh cannot stop and laugh all the way to 7-11. Plus I wear one flowery boxers leh, like what only................

Hmm anyway! During the past weeks, we ate at Geylang, Ang Mo Kio, town, random restaurants and food outlets to eat and watch movies and sing K and play pool!
We went out like for quite too much already so I guess for the following weeks we are staying home to recuperate :)

Our favourite no. 11 and our table when we ate dim sum at Geylang :)

YY cooked this porridge with sardines, pork cubes, caixin and cai pu egg!!!! Damn nice and got the home the feeling. THANKS YY SO MUCH

Photos above are quite recent one~ I went to Starbucks @ The Cathay to study while waiting for YY to fang gong...
The hotdog is pre-packed one! Heyun got that from his friend in China and he gave me one :D It's like so awesome leh, like you are very hungry and it's late in the night and you can just grab a stick of hotdog and munch on it.

Gonna post birthday pictures on the next post instead... I can feel that migraine coming! Going out to study now! ^^
I know what's the time now, but my nightlife is ending soon because I'm going to start work at the zoo so I have to make use of the remaining time :(
I will miss people at NS so much leh... Although I'll still have chance to work in NS and NS and Zoo are like so close!

Thanks people for giving me the best working experience ever :)

WORLD CUP! I SUPPORTING ENGLAND! WAYNE ROONEY, BECUZ HE GUAILAN ENOUGH AND HE IS VERY THE HUMOUROUS.

The way my dad describes Cristiano Ronaldo very funny. He says that thought he handsome but he got play alot of women then kick football also not good already kana yellow card summore! HAHAHA but still he very very very handsome leh.

Go England! Pray that will win in this match leh. No win no more football!

I wanna meet Aiai soon. Got lots of things to talk to her about...

"I must learn to love the fool in me, the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. - Theodore Isaac Rubin"

2010-05-31T07:18:00.003+08:00

We celebrated pi gu very big's birthday one week after the actual day. Lol! Happy sia him when take photos.
Stay cheeky dude!

Life with YY is fabulous.

Nephew yangyang is trying to struggle off YY's grasp! CUTE MAX
"Jiejie I want 123... Where is Jiejie?" HEHE HAPPY ME

Ate at Cineleisure and caught Prince of Persia just now. GREAT GREAT GREAT MOVIE! I like this kind of puzzling movies then they'll make you go OIC and have that flushed feeling. I LIKE IT!

Work's getting more fun and funnier.
Eugenia sis, take good care of yourself! Need anything, food, a listening ear, or craps all can!
Love everyone leh. I like Xufeng more and more. DEAREST SHIFT PHONE!
Heyunsueshashaaidilfaridhudahfiqahain.
Figure it out LOL

I think I getting lamer nowadays.

Met YILIN the ultra sweetheart and XT the super strong but petite woman yesterday too!
Saw cheesheng after like maybe 1-2years also.

Had so much talk with both of them! Fruitful day I say. Gladys fly kite become fly aeroplane!

Went Starbucks after reading at library and Lot 1 with Yilin.
Bought my bras and panty and boxer!

We took pictures outside Macdonald there and she was damn cute checking around to see whether got people look anot after taking one picture cuz got flash.

I know my mouth like same like that lol!

I think if one day I really cannot bear to see the situation like that anymore I will really do something.
Dude, just wake up and cherish the one in front of you lah, like please?
Incorrigible.

Anyway thanks so much for the talks, girls. Made my day and night.

Now for YY! I think he fell asleep already. Those kind like plop! on pillow then off to lalaland that kind.
Never once had sucha guy that will care, concern, joke, play, love me in such an amazing way, making me feel so fortunate.
I will cherish the present, because it's a gift, and it's from heaven to me :D
That's just one thing and that's my wandering mind which is BAD BAD BAD!
Trying to kick off those negative thoughts. Sweet will be there to remind me right? *wink*

Gotta catch some sleep and off to work in less than 12 hours time! Ciao people love ya

2010-05-20T02:57:00.003+08:00

Wow. So long since I last updated huh?

Has been like watching every single movie Now Showing with YY for quite often! Next up should be Nightmare on Elm Street and The Blood Pledge! Toy Story 2 and Shrek 2! (or is it 3?)

Think by now the amount of movies I watch this year already exceed the amount I watched last year liao lor. BUT I LOVE IT!

Has been quite elated nowadays. Love my working colleagues they are like damn hilarious and so filled with love (Y) but so many people are getting sick. Me also! Then becuz of that last week skip lessons for like after so long!

Has been eating so much good food also. Good meaning FATS and SINFUL and DELICIOUS! So ironic. HK cafe, Pastamania, Billy Bombers, japanese food etc etc. I swear double chin is coming back to visit me. I really want to shake hoops and crunches everyday!

Dad and Mum went to Malaysia last weekend and I didnt went because there's lesson which I failed to turn up for because I freaking overslept! :(
And becuz of that I didnt get to see Dad. When I was sleeping he was at work, when he's home I'm at work. I miss you daddy :(

FINALLY. I hope my girls and guy are getting on well.
Gladys Sim!
Lock Xinting!
Tan Yilin!
Tan Tonglee!

I seriously miss them but me and their freetime different! I'm prepared to hear so much stories from them and say my stories to them! I LOVE MY BABES AND HUNK! (errr maybe hunk is too good a word to use for TLL LOL)

For now I'm quite happy with my life. Like after so long? Just that I need to spend more time with people I love. My friends and family.

I know after rain there's rainbow, but it will rain someday again. I know that. Happiness dont last long... But it will come again! Arent I right? :)
I must start to look on the bright side of life.
And stop thinking too much that it affects people around me.

Happy Birdday to Koh Hanjie and Zubaidah! (19th & 20th)

Above photo tells you how thick my eyeliner is and that I look okok only thanks to eyeliner this great invention! So actually I look fugly without eyeliner~

That's why when Gladys Sim say she very ugly I will say her.
DONT TELL ME THAT AGAIN!

Sayonara people.

2010-05-08T20:08:00.003+08:00

Not much good photos.......... With hair like mine now! :( SAD! I keep trimming it myself when I get back ytd. Trim bu wan one! I want to cut it like bangs but not that kind of very straight one. Hair not that cui as I expected! I love my hair colour now but not my fringe.

Life not so happening, it's school work and school and work and a few random activities~

Just ate pizza! It took one long hour for it to reach my house. LOVE IT! CHEESY!

The painted nails with pink glitter is actually a kind of sticker I bought to paste. It suck! It's either totally attached to my nails or part of cant be attached no matter how I press it down. Hate it and have to remove everything in 1 hour. Took up so much of my time!

Please dont mind my dark circles/eyeliner smudge/ugly hair/smile in some of the pictures! The picture of me in the flowery dress that's my new hair! I'm still trimming it everytime I got home! Sooooo ugly man. Hope it grow faster!

Just caught Ip Man 2 with my family at CWP and still it was fantastic! Love Hongjinbao's bend-over-&-2-parallel-punch-for-you! LOL *wink X&G and jiejie*

Sneak a packet of $1 popcorn and pringles and 3 can drinks in. HAHA BUDGET (Y)

I think I cant make friends at this rate : reply message slow or totally forget about it OR talk in msn halfway get distracted and mia. Bad bad habit! CHANGE

Thanks MOONTSW, your tweet about Ariel with red hair(although it's not Ariel the Human she talking about :() and your latest tweet make me so happy! I gian song only LOL

"Although I think I'm quite over you. Sometimes, I can't help but think that there will never be anyone as perfect for me as you. You were too big of a fool to have known that."

2010-05-05T03:59:00.002+08:00

"You don't want to let people in. It's hard for you. And once you let those people in, you don't want to let them go. And when they screw up, it's like, why would you do that to me? I gave you my feelings, I did everything for you, and you still screwed me over. It's like you wished they were a better person." - Audrina Patridge

Just how I felt. How small and hard and harsh this world could be. A person with a good face doesnt mean it's true. I've been pushing everyone away.......... It'll be awhile that I will let anyone in.

I'm seriously flawful if there is such word. I can find flaws anywhere if you ask me to list out at least one. I'm nothing great and I have attitude problem and my mind is really indecisive and I'm more of a follower than a leader. I'm more of true self when I am not sober or I feel really peaceful or my mind is really troubleless or when I'm very tired or when I'm totally comfortable with someone. It happens so RARE nowadays that I can be really comfortable and be my own self. I dont have a shell 2-3 years ago. What happen to this useless armour that only keep me cooped up? How was it form man? I have no idea.

It's just pointless. The whole thing. Think back and come back to the present. What do you think, how do you feel? Why didnt you feel like this back then? Even if you did, what did you do?

I'm just a chubby girl with plump body and totally normal. No point getting stuck here. You have the great advantage. You can have a better life.

2010-04-23T00:35:00.004+08:00

I REALLY LIKE YILIN'S BLOG SONGS! :)
So relaxing and always tend to chill me down. Thanks sweet!

Went to find Yehyobo yesterday after my lesson! Always look forward and is energetic on the mrt train whenever I'm going to look for him :)

The night was boring... His cousin said my voice sound like Guanyi. Yehwen also say I very sick becuz I keep wash my leg LOL. I was like mad dancing when he was playing the songs he played while playing the games. It was just MS and Dota all along and in his eyes are also MS and Dota only. These games are fun but not when you are the onlookers! That's why girls find it irritating you get it? Why not try to teach them duhhhhh

BTW I know dota and ms but there's only one computer okay! Dont small look me!!!

So the boringness explains the photos below :)

Playing scissors paper stone by myself

HEHEHE!

Hmm I've been emo-ing much nowadays. Missing my gfs but needing time alone.
Sorry :(

I'm eating chocolate chip mint ice cream now! :D It's cheering me up!

Looking forward to work tmr :)

Hope that he'll be alright.

"You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. People change. The world changes. And sooner or later you lose people you care about. If you don’t mind some advice from someone who doesn’t know much about families, I can tell you this: Don’t take yours for granted. It might feel like all of them will always be there. But they won’t." - Harry Dresden

2010-04-20T15:49:00.002+08:00

Sometimes horoscope just make sense bizarrely.
But should I follow the horoscope or my heart?

"Sometimes, we expect more from people because we would be willing to do that much for them."

2010-04-17T03:40:00.003+08:00

Went for job training for duck and hippo tour! Love the experience with 6 ladies 1 half lady. HAHA! Guys I work with are sometimes just so gay~

Overdose of eyeliner :( Bad start! Even almost fell on the train and I miss both the bus and train boooooo. Sue lost her ez-link and inside got alot money gosh man.

So like I slept for 1 half hour before waking up at 7am. Was in the same train as Xufeng but I didnt realised she called hahahahahah guilty max!

Briefing and so after everyone arrived got to know Adelynn & Guangmao and got to know Angeline better.
Duck tour~

Shasha and Farid! >>

Bad shot of myself

Sue and I :) >>

Splashing into the water! >>

See my ducky sticker? :D >>

Sue brought Video cam and camera! Awesome!

Happy Farid pointing to something amusing >>

Xufeng! >>

My sexy mama! :) >>

Failed shot of me and Sue LOL

What in the world is so interesting about the Merlion? O.O

Soon-to-be art and science museum >>

DNA lookalike, Helix Bridge I think >>

Tadaa end of duck tour! :D
Went on hippo topless bus next fantastic man the feeling! But damn hot lah. Farid and I keep moving to the shaded area... Somemore I so fair right! Cannot turn dark. HAHAHA

Adelynn :) >>

Went for a debrief in their office... And off we go :D Angeline took the duck whistle lol! When you blow into it got quack quack sound one she very happy..... Then like XF suddenly went missing so me SS, Sue and F just went off and all the way back was chatting to Shasha. Strong woman, role model!

Darn tired, went to find K, fooled around and slept straight 3 hours! Didnt get to meet Yilin that day also. Sorry my dear and anyway...................

VERY HAPPY BIRDDAY TO YOU! JIEJIE LOVES YOU MUCH K! MUST BE HAPPY! CUZ GOT US AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE (V) (V) (V)

Okay it's 4am now... Hope to see some of my gfs tomorrow.

"What would the world be like if we all had the ability to feel that someone is missing us? Like when someone is 10,000 miles away from you and they miss you so much, to the point where you actually feel it inside you. Imagine: you could be sitting there, drinking a cup of hot chocolate, and then suddenly have the ability to realize, "Hey, someone out there really misses me right now."

2010-04-14T06:44:00.001+08:00

I believe that once you find "the one", you'll give them a hundred and one chances to get it right. And I also believe that if you can't be with that person, you never truly move on.

2010-04-14T03:49:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I feel like telling people that they dont deserve this kind of man, they really deserve much better people when they themselves are so awesome people, awesome friends of mine, beauty inside and out. That looking at the way the guy's treating her, she should hate him and leave.

But what rights do I have to say that when I cant even do the same thing? Not that I'm ill-treated (not anymore), but it''s like upteen times when I failed to leave completely and always return to what I always had love and wanted and needed. Something I claimed I don't, but feel glad to have it, becuz I can't find this kind of love anywhere else.

So what's my say?

Follow your heart, never die without trying :)
You wont know what will happen if you dont try. It might turn out good, it's not that people who will change for the better are extinct.
Even if you fall again after trying, it's like at least you tried, you will see what happen after imagining the future and wondering for so long. You will be hurt once again, but you'll learn something new everytime.

My views change every so often, but I firmly thinks that this view of mine is quite reasonable... Nothing we do can totally be perfect, we can only be perfect in our own ways.

Some very outdated pictures taken in Jan I think? :D

See how skinny I was in the 2nd picture? I grew fat in 3 months :(
Love the 2nd picture in the 1st column!

Photos below only becuz I need to feed some pretty pictures to my wifi-less phone ^^

“There’s a quickness in the way that things end. Sometimes when you’re so completely happy, you can’t help but wonder when things will change."

2010-04-12T02:18:00.004+08:00

Yoohoo! ^^

I'm blogging here on the 11th night, so yesterday shall be the 10th :D
It was a great night overall! Sang so much for 5 hours~ Sang all we want!
We just keep singing out hearts out until the last 1/4 of the time when Single Ladies came on then everything got so high and Gladys was dancing in her own world!!!
Then there's the Enpire State of Mind when we just keep rapping in our own ways. HAHAHA

There's really many of the songs that remind me of the past, the present and what I've gone thru, my loved ones has gone thru.
Sometimes I feel so undecisive... When I get upset but it isnt the worst thing ever, does it mean that I have to be happy because I'm not as bad as others? It just feels so bad when I compare becuz I get so fucked up with myself and feel so stupid. Things may seem that they are fine at some point but do you see the joker's feelings when there's that smile on his face? No right?

Went for practical lessons in the late afternoon on the 10th! I LOVE BIO LESSONS! But journey for Bukit Merah to Woodlands is damn tiring though.

Went to sing song after that! Xinting didnt turn up though she's at town :( Nevermind she follows me in my heart! And Aolin and friend came by for awhile later on :D
Damn love Yilin's camera!!! First few taken by my own phone(lolll) then following by her cam :D

I DAMN LOVE THIS PHOTO! DONT KNOW WHY >>>

CUTIE PIESZXxxxxx >>>

LOVE ALL OF THEM MWARKIIESXXZX

I've got something to say for this dear of mine!

You've been thru with me thru it all :)

"Shorty that's your best friend
Always got your back forever shes ready to ride
Shorty that's your best friend
Through any situation anywhere that she by your side
She tell you everything
She's your number one fan
She always keep it real
Always got your back
Them other phony chickens they talk behind your back
She never lie to your man
She don't ever snitch
If a chick talk slick
She'll SLAP a chick
She close like a sister
Follow your name on Twitter
She always telling you
You don't need that n*gga
When she ain't there
Nobody's there
Have no fear
Cause she's always there
Trust her with your Life
Let her rock your Ice
She your best friend, but you calling her your wife
Give advice when you need it
Never tell a secret
Give her a hundred dollar bill
If there's change she could keep it
Cause that's your BFF
That's your BFF

That's your BFF
All my independent ladies right now if you with your BFF
Give her a Hug right now
Tell her how much you love her
and say
BFF
Say BFF
Cause that's your shorty
That's your friend
That's your shorty
Or your friend
C'mon
BFF
That's your BFF
That's your BFF"

Those are lyrics in B.F.F that are true about you! Come hug hug :)
I admit that I dont really tell you everything, I'm fake sometimes, I fail to support you, be there for you, not that zai enough to fight a bitch for you, and sometimes I dont really know how to express my feelings out, especially these few weeks. But you are the best friend that I will choose again if god lets me restart my p6 - present life :D

I hope that in future, you can depend on me too because I'm there for you, once again :)
Love ya SimAiai!

2010-04-10T13:58:00.000+08:00

LOOKING URGENTLY FOR THIS OR SOMETHING SIMILAR!!!

URGENT

2010-04-07T23:51:00.003+08:00

You like it?

NAH FOR YOU!!!

In anyways or whoever opinions whatever I think I'm cuter leh HAHAHA

Slept at freaking 8am practically doing nothing productive the whole night till dawn.
Woke up at 5pm. 1pm wake up plan FAIL! Badly huh somemore. I really think that sleeping is wasting time too.

I can use so much of my time playing and drinking coffee and reading books. LOL!

Stupid old clique still talking to each other in that photo~~~ I really hope one day every single one of us turn up! Long since I seen Jianing, Jason, Gerald, really.

COME OUT AND PLAY EVERYONE! Limbu grow up already never ton ton ton everyday do nothing except slacking already :D I wake up at evening now also but got reasons one hahaha! Still waiting for SimGladys to pass me the thumbdrive of photos~

I dont know how to diet already! Every night eat eat eat. All becuz of.....

I know my hair is disturbing. LOL
Come here is another imitation.

Seriously you are just forcing me to laugh.

HEHEHE. OK enough of this spasticsm and sarcasm I'm off to dig for my Maple password! Grr

2010-04-07T04:45:00.002+08:00

O-oh :O I did not blog!!! Grrr. My speaker is a bitch it just wont be fixed no matter how I fit in hard all the wires and switches etc. I'm so angry! I need my speaker!

Work is just a bore plus we moved out to the reception there since our 'home' is under renovation. It's freaking hot although there's no sun when the place operate at night. It's the first day I work that I have my whole body sticky with sweat.

Amount was right, no mistakes. Xufeng said the wrong things so I key in the wrong items but I reconfirmed it with her she said 'Yah' then after that she find out is wrong she stare at me :(

Shasha was telling my fortune throughout! 3/4 true man omfg she can even tell what kind of person my lover is.

Work without Aidil and Farid is pretty much quiet :(

Bitch much with Enfer just now in MSN. Feel tad guilty but it's weird also since long I've feel this way about someone I can only say SUX2BU.
HAHAHAH
Seriously she never de zui me but I really dont like her.

Yingxuan is hell funny she just think what tweet what I see already also think is so cute.
Guess she's having that want-to-have-baby symptom like Simaiai.

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Mohandas Gandhi

I just need to forgive, and most importantly forget and everything will turn out fine.

2010-04-05T00:58:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY L.XINTING! :D

Chirpy and with a smile on her face whether she's happy or sad. Petite but big character I'll say!
I dont see her very oftenly but I cant wait to see her soon to celebrate her birthday belatedly (;
Be happy leh girl, all these past relationships are lessons to learn... Old dont go new dont come right? You'll be fine :)

So I slack my precious off day away! I woke up at 2.30pm, woke up and have lunner/dunch with my sister and then wait for XT and G. Halfway thru I fell asleep. So now I feel totally wide awake!
I should go bathe soon and take my books out to study. Biology as priority~

This will be my what-i-did-today blog from now onwards, I will post everyday! No event doesnt mean not interesting doesnt mean dont need post ma hor?

I hope April faster pass so can get my pay soon ^^
I'm dying from the amount of money in my bank now. I'm saving money I think, and not going shopping any sooner. I think I spent 1k last month :(

Dad and mum came back after 4 days in KL! They brought back many chocolates that my uncle bought from US. WOOOOOO!

I did exercise just now so I dont feel as guilty! :D
Although I'm convinced that that little exercise can cut away the same calories the chocolates provided. HAHAHA

Meeting up Yilin and G tomorrow! :D

"If you think the sunset is pretty, wait till you look into his eyes."

2010-03-30T03:47:00.002+08:00

I swear I'm so fucking stressed up now I can break down and cry if someone is to shout at me now.
I had a hard day at work ytd night and yeah becuz I lack sleep and I was careless but I already try to be alerted and Im so disappointed with myself why something like that happen I didnt want it to and I feel so useless and I swear I will fucking cry if I were to be fired one day.
God bless me that I dont make anymore mistakes.
I know I should be sleeping by now having to wake up at 6am later on for another job. But I dont know why I always get so depressed when I'm at home so I chose to linger outside for awhile before coming home. After bathing and Im stuck onto this chair and roaming around the cyber world.
I get so fucked up by myself most of the times. I can prevent so many things to happen by myself but I close one eye on myself everytime and think, it's okay one lah nevermind one lah and do it.
Like? Spending loads of ten bucks for cab fare, dragging my time for work and then there's no time to take public cheap transport. I forget things damn easily, like forgetting to bring my ex-link card and spending $6 to go to interchange when I can get there with 69cents only. I have no notes nor coins and the ATM is far away. I always cover the ATM when it shows how much money is left in my bank becuz I dont dare to know how much I have left in my account. Pathetic much? Yeah me think so too.

I've become so pessimistic and lack of confidence. When I have confidence, something always dampen my spirits and pull me down. I have high hopes and fall easily. I'm not a strong person. I always think twice about everything, appropriate anot. I know thinking before speaking is a must but I do that too much or I did it wrongly. Or sometimes I dont think when I speak and I just blurt out something damn wrong.

:(

I really dont like myself seriously. I dont love myself who will right? But I seriously dont know what to do already. I dont do things that are right becuz I dont like it.

I really envy people who can be themselves all the time becuz I can't. I'm so aware of myself.

This dont make me feel any better. I dont know what to do with my life.

"Perfection, something I try to acheive yet always fall short of."

2010-03-25T02:34:00.003+08:00

I'm sucha irregular blogger. OK IM GUILTY!
But good thing is there's food for your eyes and it's quite a sumptuous one :D

Life settle down recently. I aint a good stress handler. Well, I cant even handle it, I just escape it.
Has been working and staying out late at night and everything, I see my family lesser and lesser.

Im sorry :(

If this year I could earn a 10k and pass my O's with flying colours, then this shall be my happiest year ever :D

This is my first ever clubbing event! WOOHOO!
I'm a damn suaku lah but who dont have a first time you tell me?!
I find out that my hair turns out beautiful and natural when I dont pay attention to it. HAHA
Went to batok with TL to find his auntie and cute cute nieces then after that we wasted time waiting for bus and took a million years waiting for the taxi and who knows what the taxi uncle's brain is made of and jammed us at Woodlands Checkpoint when we're heading to MCC?!
Singsangsung and off to meet JC and Yuxuan and there goes the night :)
Wasnt as high but I enjoy it!

One of those days Lewis had a birthday BBQ. Poor birthday boy! Had fun with them and Yilin & I ended up running away and cabbing home to avoid cake smash. HAHA

Great photography skills hor aiai.

I love this picture becuz they look like mummy and daughter!!!

Current favourite: Milk Green Tea! :)
Caught How To Train A Dragon 3D with KH and guys on one the days and ate Ajisen at SSC on the other day.

Worked midnight for Daiso stocktaking ytd, met XT and G before that!

Here is XT's ai xin for me :)
Love it to bits and pieces! Bite it to bits and pieces to HAHA

"I hate to say but when i experience break up, my mind is not in peace and i tend to think of suicide only that i'm too timid to kill myself and land up in an ugly death. I guess that means i have to continue living and suffer through the days alone."

Quoted from Enfer's blog. Can't help but agree. Smile man you this crazy woman!

Ending with love from me! :)

2010-03-14T23:06:00.002+08:00

YOYOSUP.

Days had been rather wavy, meaning alot ups and downs. Think there's a tsunami arriving!!! WOOOOO.

Has been loving my biology lessons so far. I'm loving it! SST told me that it will drive me crazy further on later. Well I dont care! I hate chemistry!
Retaking humans too ^^

I love blue chemicals! And for that idiot, this one for you one!>>>

SimG taught us how to fold tissue roses :D
It's long since I ton-ed with tl and g so I love the sensation! Hugs.

Going off to look for them soon!

I LOVE MY SISTER! BLOOD SISTER! BLOODDDDDD.

2010-03-11T03:33:00.002+08:00

I guess I have to practise daily blogging :(
Because I have so many photos accumulated that I even forget when are the photos taken! I have really simple days that make me elated nowadays. WOOHOO!
With G.Sim, L.Xinting, Yilin and Tanleelee most of the time though lxt is lesser ( :( ) but I'm really just satisfied with these siaolangs by my side!

Good news, I found myself again :)

This day we went to see Tl and guys play basketball and then Aiai and I imitate someone do something and we realise we are bad and still do it now. The green thing is what I get from Kinder Joy! Accompanied her to fetch her cousin Felis and she went to eat Swensens :(

Oh then this is the tmd tiring day! We went to catch longkang fish, squat, stand up, run, then squat run until leg pain and scarred! We all kana-ed! And I got to know Shiying who is uber sweet like Yilin :D Dont know how me this rowdy girl will get to know them worzx.

Sim.G kept all the fishes we caught which is like 100+ I guess :D

Ate pasta and watched Alice in Wonderland 3D!!! It's my virgin experience for 3D movies :D Macdonalds at 768 and slacking for supper and strolled home. I'm having regular exercises nowadays every night when I had to walk home! Is that a good thing or not o.o

This day is full of laughters I like! :D

This one is more recent think is 2 days ago? :D
Fetched XT and G.Sim from school, slacked abit and changed my original plan of going for interview to eating Pastamania and Swensens with them. LOL
Long since we 3 last hung out together, I miss us (Y) !
Picnic soon eh Xinting when it's not that sunny anymore? :)

After that laopo went home, Aiai and I went to look for Nengtong and Edwin :D (!!!!!!!)
Damn happy upon seeing them, didnt really mature but I think grown up abit only lo hor Edwin.
Lol!!!! Oh then there's Nengtong and Joey's baby, Fino :D

Ate at Aiai's house after that, her family is warmly hilarious! Bought spicy spiral potato from pasar malam :D LOVE IT SO VERY MUCH.
Went to find Tl to see them mahjong and midnight stroll again ^^

Ytdytd, went to interview like finally. Hopefully successful! :)
Just walked like one round at Daiso and I've gotten my basket with 8 items. Was quite sad and asked G to get more so that the amount we spent more balanced...

Macdonalds and study session after that! Happy that I can study and get those shit into my brain that day :D

Facebook is really irritating the ass out of me! I attempted to upload those photos for 3 times each taking half hour but all FAILED.

:/

:(

>:'(

LOL! Eh my chatting khakis all go clubbing tonight. No one talk to liao lor.
I miss Xinting and Yilin again! Wanna see them soon again!
K SESSION ON SATURDAY AGAIN YAY

Kind souls fetch me from DG tomorrow from school please.
:(

Love surrounding me everyday -- G, X, Tl, Yilin :)

"When I'm with you all my fears disappear. So, I guess if you're wondering what my biggest fear is, it would be losing you."

2010-03-04T16:14:00.003+08:00

WOOOOOO it's been long isn't it. Has been busy spending my days doing all sorts of things going to different places.
I WANT TO GO WAX MUSEUM!!!
JH is accompanying to the temple to pray pray next week :D
I WANT TO CATCH GUPPIES! *winks Aiai & Yilin*
Now I only lack a job... Then my life is perfect :)

Most of the pictures can be seen on facebook last few weeks already!

Need catching up with Xinting soon. I miss talking to her already.
Days passed by easier when there are events worth looking forward to :)

"Don’t ever think I chose to leave because I wanted to, I didn’t. It was more like I needed to. We were killing each other."

2010-02-23T03:05:00.003+08:00

I don't feel like doing this anymore. It's just of no use. I'm just trying to cheer myself up and create some presence in this space of loneliness.
Everything I'm doing now is bad for myself and for no one's good? I'm feeling upset.
Is there really a way out of this situation? When I had felt so hopeless and helpless for months and having sleepless nights? Drowning out my thoughts every night to stop myself for being too paranoid. Doing maximum things to stop myself for being so sensitive. To decrease the quarrel rates.
But I failed, I failed badly :(
I'm not able to tolerate everything a true and good mate should. Everything just too much to bear.
I had enough, I'm really drained, I've tried everything that doesnt work. I don't know what to do anymore.
This is not running away from the problem. It's giving each other space. Since the initial point was to decrease the distance between each other. In the midst of it we all forget what it is all about. We started crashing. Really hard. It's time to clear the mess and return to what we were initially -- which is nothing at all.

2010-02-19T01:41:00.002+08:00

Here's a photo to brief on what happen.

I'M FINALLY LIFEMORE! Not lifeless anymore :D
Having so much fun almost everyday.

Mum gave me this blue wine that's suppose to make me healthy blah blah and I thought is Yomeishu this herbal wine that's yummy then end up it's really STRONG and I gulped it down just like that! Throat starts burning my whole face was hot and I'm really tired now :(
Might be physically becuz of playing for the whole day though but I'm suspecting strongly that it's the wine!!!!!

Overnight at Kh's and danggggggggggg he didnt play with me becuz he's a very dead pig when he sleep :(
Today wake up go gai gai with the usual crazy women.

Lazy to elaborate now becuz I'm really tired! Ciaoz people (\/)

2010-02-17T14:54:00.003+08:00

The most enjoyable CNY lands on 2010! :D
Though I was like emotional shit on some of the nights, I know that everything will be fine becuz of my family and cousins.

Before CNY I has been hanging out with G, TL & 丫头/舌头 \^.^/
We had our reunion dinner, and the next day before I set off to Malaysia we had a singing session again and believe me, I will never get sick of singing using a mic!

I love candid pictures like this!

This year at my ahma house, other then getting closer with my cousins, I become friendfriend terms with my aunties and uncles also!!! Which is damn rare becuz normally is like we see them then never talk becuz scared, shy, respect or whatever one.

You'll see lots of my naked face in this post. Boohoo! I look hideous without make up, but that's who I am isnt it :D

We had our usual tradition of reunion table with 4 big tables each table with 10+ people on CNY eve, BBQ on lunar 2th Jan, and lao yu sheng on the last day :D

We had a crazy family party on the BBQ night which is the best night ever with everyone dancing together with the uncles leading everyone. Everyone is so hyper when it comes to Sorry Sorry LOL

I don't know how to describe this very happy occasion so maybe a picture can tell you? :)

I LOVE MY FAMILY, RELATIVES MY FRIENDS AND MY BOYFRIEND! HUAT AH!

2010-02-11T17:44:00.001+08:00

Hey hi ho~

So many things happened!
Firstly and the greatest thing ever I quitted the most ridiculous job in the world that cheated so many youngsters like yours truely (v)
Seriously you'll lose all your customers like this if you continue selling them at such price. And stop complaining that you don't earn much if you earn almost 50-60 bucks just selling one piece.

Miss my girls, Aina, Zhengning, Zida!

I forgot what happen already. Oh I applied for Higher Nitec. Just sort of pray that it will succeed lah. Privates studies will only waste my and daddy's money... I'm damn broke now. I'm not from a rich family you know?

Okay I love the past two days although I have some hormones disorder and all my mood swings come (Y)

I probably look like chao ahlian in all the photos! I dyed the wrong hair colour sighsighsigh.

First day, AMK hub & pool at OCC with G, TL & Yilin :)
Second day, Bugis to pray with TL & Yilin, neoprints and K session with G, X, TL, Yilin, Aolin, Cindy at night :D
Fruitful days!

Off to tuan yuan fan with my darlings! Ciao people.

2010-02-10T01:25:00.001+08:00

Saw this from something I subscribed:

"Ladies, you need to understand that as long as you got a vagina, you run the entire mother fucking Universe. Thats the way it is. You need to understand that. Ladies, I'm telling you...you are the shit. Stop waitin on a nigga to verify whether you're the shit or not. Bitch, if you the shit than you the motherfucking shit."

WTF VERY FUNNY LOL.
I'M THE SHIT.

2010-02-04T13:59:00.002+08:00

I'm sucha bad worker for my boss......... So procrastinator.
Didnt went for work till now and wondering if I should go.
I know! So irritating right, want money, go work, want get fired, dont go work.

FUCK I DROP MY NAIL POLISH!!!! But heng only the bottom part chip away. LOL Imagine having to clean up the mess.
Now my hair is full of the rebond smell. My hair is NOT that rebonded but it's far much better than my original pong pong hair. Though I look very gentle-woman here.

Is there a sickness that is supposingly to always make you feel tired?
Seriously I think it's depression.

It was an okay day yesterday feels great to catch up with TL sis.
But I just feel so weird around his classmates! Cute people though. One looks like JoKwon from 2am. LOL
He's quite crappy in the rebondng job but I like the end product :)
THANK YOU!

Took a picture of my sad hair the day before they 'straightened out' their thoughts. LOL lame.

Mosaic-ed becuz I was grumpy.

Eyeliner smudged and pout is not cute so is mosaic-ed!

He did that to cover up his pimples. LOL

After that sayonara-ed to those peeps and trained to Bugis to meet mum for CNY clothes. She insisted on going there becuz Orchard things are expensive... It's ok for me becuz there's a few shops at Bugis that I really like! End up I bought a few $10-$12 clothes there that are damn pretty I feel so surprised and happy sia LOL
Bought a baby pink toga dress from Signify. Peggyheng was very friendly so friendly! I thought she'll be like damn snobby like Dawn Yeoh. Mum tried to bargain with her. LOL

Dined at Oriental something something when daddy reached~ It was a damn beat day becuz I slept less than 5 hours before waking up at 10am to meet tl.

I miss Kh although I just saw him days ago... He just don't seem to miss me or wanna meet me, does he? No! I'm a sad little lovergirl.

"I love you and I probably always will. But we go days without having meaningful conversations. And I used to miss you so much when that happened. But it never seemed like you missed me, and I guess because of that, I stopped missing you." - One Tree Hill

2010-02-02T14:58:00.003+08:00

Picture of Pepper when I visited her I think a few weeks ago :D

Working has been really hard it's the worst job I've ever taken and I'm not even sure whether the boss will give me my pay. Fucked up anot?
Days had been so hard I feel so proud of myself for able to cope it well hahaha of course with Zida's and Aina's help but I'm so upset that both of them quitted... Now I'm left all alone I don't even know what to do! Get my pay first then say.
There's the new girl to accompany me though, Zhengning :D

Met up with G & TL like few days ago and it was goddamn funny. These sisters damn good to fetch me from work :D Caught Toothfairy becuz the malay horror movie was sold out.
Perhaps meeting them again tonight! :D But it's 2 days I didnt see and talk to my family properly. I kinda miss them.

Gonna retake O's soon and taking part-time courses for Comb Science and Emaths. I'll work really hard.

I really need an extra part time work with flexible working hours at the moment so pleaseeee someone help me if you know of such jobs ok! This is the first time I feel so broke.

"A heart truely in love never loses hope."

2010-01-27T19:00:00.002+08:00

It seems quite stupid that I don't blog if everyday is so upsetting to me when a blog is a diary. A diary!!!!!!!
My life is a fucking mess. I have to get over it.

I didnt get posted to any poly and I can't appeal. I never knew this can make me feel so damn freaking devastated. Now I don't know what to do, I just ended up asking help from MOE.

I threw the money for BMC into the sea. My own money and my father's money.

Seriously someone kill me although I know that if you really will do that I will scream and run away as far as possible but I really want to die.

I threw a huge tantrum with him in front of his friends. Can't say totally is my fault, yeah I could tolerate more and give in and shut up this mouth of mine can I. I'm so screwed up I hope someone could fix me.

I can't seem to face the world anymore whoever is it. I'm drowning in my own little hell :(

My boss told me: "You live for yourself. I treasure my life alot. Whoever tries to bring you down, whatever that brings you down, just be happy. You need to show them that you are strong."
This brought so much tears to my eyes. But I guess those people that just got to know me don't know me enough.

I don't take pictures of myself for about a few weeks already other than those that I show mum of myself wearing the clothes when I'm at work. I really feel that everything is not right now. Worse than those days when I suffered physical and more emotional pain. I don't know what to say to those who love me. Those that I badly want to tell everything to doesnt want to listen. What to do? Can karma just all come at one go?

I almost have no more strength to carry on.

2010-01-14T21:32:00.003+08:00

Some motivation only got me going for a few days, and it stop and everything starts again.
After talking to Mr Raja today, I realise how low my self-esteem is compared to the past.
Helloooooooo will someone convince me that it'll all be okay? Everything I did are like haunting me :(

Met up G, X after their CCA yesterday and before that I accompany Jiayee home :) Talked so much stuffs with her and I feel very happy that after a few months we still got along so well :) So much things happened for these two years huh. The years that most of us change so much...

Had Yoshinoya and 768 later on. I feel so drained that I cabbed home. Has been taking taxi so much nowadays I feel so guilty and poor...

I'm finally going for a job interview tomorrow. If it's successful I'm gonna shop my pretty ass off!

Yet to submit my choices. Should go now :)

2010-01-13T00:59:00.004+08:00

I've got this weird feeling of wanting to do something so badly but no idea what? These hormones are going wrong again man :(

Stressing over where to go! Not like I have alot of choices but it's last minute I must decide man. Even if I choose a course I like I dont know where I can head to. My points are barely merit. Im sighing bitterly now.

Congratulations to Zubaidah!!! And all my other ex-Riversidians friends for getting great grades for O's. Not like me. *poking index fingers* Eh but I think I very optimistic eh. LOL

Ok some quick pictures from my dear Bali trip before I go to bathe. Just no motivation to bathe man.

1st day at around late afternoon.

Long time since I sat on a plane... Since p4/5? :)
So I was damn very the excited when we were about to check in... Camwhored the moment we were on the way to the airport!

It was fantastic you know when the plane set off and everything the whole of SG become smaller. I still cant believe that SG is only a smalllllll dot lor -.-
Was on Garuda Airlines. I love aeroplane food! ^.^ Even if they might taste horrible lah.
We have to take a bus from the plane to the airport after we reach Bali. The impression of Bali dont appear that fresh to me becuz it looks sort like Malaysia eh (:
The people are damn friendly, even the guy who stamped my passport hehe.

We were actually supposed to be in a tour but becuz 7th-10th was the most un-peak period after school has started so no one signed up :(
The tour guide bring us to a 7-sitter Suzuki car and off we went to Harris Hotel and I had quite a fun time time with myself in the bath tub before I head to bed. LOL

Day 2! First stop at batik factory where they show us the process and everything and we can buy them inside the big batik shopping centre. Super expensive the clothes, like SGD40+ for something I wont usually wear and for a souvenir :(
So I passed and bought a few batik purses!
Went to this wood sculpting place where all the ornaments are hand-made.
Sis bought an owl ( standard one her fav animal ) and dad bought a dragon...

Lunched at this place which is like a 2+ hours ride to the top of the mountain where the scenery is totally breathtaking! If I wasnt in the sleepy mode :/
Lunch was not ok! Ambience was :D Ordered ice lemon tea, tasted different from any I drank before.

Went a few more places. Sacred temple where the path is on the sea and becuz it's raining we can't cross over :(
There's the strawberry farm! Totally organic man the strawberries. Small and fresh and handpicked... By us truly ^^ Love it.
Went to a beach later on... And the along the route to the beach got alotttttttt of stalls sell souvenirs and bags at damn cheap price but it was raining so no much shopping for us :(

My flats spoiled! Bought a new flowery slipper :D (wore it when I met Aiai and TL today :D)

Ohoh and there's a bat hanging outside one of the stalls! I guess it's a pet bat... It has a pearl necklace collar on its neck :D

Dinner at what looks like a really high class restaurant! Balinese dance was really catchy, I like! Went shopping at SOGO shopping centre. Find nothing while Mum and Sister bought slippers. Everywhere can see people sell branded goods replicas :(

Was kinda in a bad mood before the day ends becuz we walked like a whole 45 minutes back to the hotel when the tour guide told us it's only 10 minutes. M.F.A.H!!!! Zao zhi dao take cab you know. Damn cheap de.

Day 3! Last day of playing :( yet the best day of the 4 :D
Everyone turned up with relaxing beach wear! Woohoo time for some dunking in the water :)

There's not much photos of us playing the water activities.
Sister and I played the Fly Fish or something. We lied down on a rocket look-like thing.
Eh great i found pictures :D

Heh save explaining. LOL
Exciting like siao ok! So scared of falling down and plopping into the water.
Then banana boat with whole family :D

We took a yacht (?) to turtle island! Love the ride and love my hair man (v)
There is this glass on the floor of the boat when we can see thru the water and see the fishes and corals etc :D

So much fun in this place!!! First I wet my shorts by squatting too much while taking photos with the turtles -.-
Then, when I held the turtles, they just cant stop flapping their 'wings' like fidgeting and cant wait to get off my grasp like that. I damn sad lor :( Even the bat also like that. When I damn freaking scared of it you know!!!! Holding a bat......... Never imagine I'll do something like this man. LOL

But when my sister holding them right, they guai guai let her hold leh? I was like what?!?!?! Huo mao san zhang. Maybe my sister got mama smell ^^ Or maybe the animals very excited when I hold them becuz I so pretty. Or becuz my shirt got parrot. Make sense make sense.

Then... Got one bird with big yellow beak called Mariah :D She's a very cute thing I tell you. She's on my arm when I preparing to take a photo with it. Then I look at her, she look back at me. I jitao scared she peck me with the beak then I turn away quickly. Laughs when I think of it man! *think of Mariah*

I love the guide above ^^
He's so cute and friendly!!!
We have coconut drink before going off to lunch.
Lunch was in a boat, small like cruise.
There was a surprise for us and that is taking photos with the balinese costume! :D Had so much fun with the costumes hehe.

Went to this place that tells us the history of Bali :) Like Night at the Museum like that!

After that... It was the longgggggggg awaited spa man.
Sister and I had the whole body spa!
Jacuzzi, sauna, foot massage and whole body massage. Super song I tell you. Though abit awkward have to take off all my clothes lah ^^
I dont know sauna so hot inside man. When there's water dripping down from my neck I thought they come from my wet hair. Then when I tell this to sis, she tell me I'm sweating. LOL

Coffee factory was next :D
Love the coffee, the plants, the machines and the facts and origin of coffee.
Coffee beans are actually cherries!!!
It can prevent us women from having many kind of diseases and it's good for you even if you drink up to 5-6 cups of coffee.
W-O-W
You know usually when we drink the packets 3in1 coffee? The beans to make this coffee are actually either sort of rotten or something one, but can drink one!!! That one is the lowest class, then the female bean which is half a perfect bean, then the most high class is the male bean which is one whole bean after eating the female bean :D

Eh I actually still remember sia LOL

Maybe I should choose a course in poly similar to this kinda thing one since I can remember interesting things like this so well. Have anot har? I still headaching sia.

Dinner at the beach! Again, I dont know that I'll ever have this chance to dine in such a romantic place with such wonderful scenery and the wind... The salty smell. The night sky!!! Even got fireworks. It's already so enjoying with my family, I wonder how it'll be like with my husband :)

The food is so-so, love the satay and prawns... I ate like 4/5 of the crabs already then mum take a bite of mine............... Then she tell me my crab is spoiled!!! Wahlao I feel like vomitting becuz she say maybe attacked by mosquitoes then die then they cook. Tmd like that how to continue eat right!!!

We went shopping by ourselves at night!!! :D
Bought wine by myself (; Get a few snacks and so~ It started raining again sigh so we cabbed back...
Loving the soso affordable cab fare!
The meter is showing RP9500 which is like less than SGD1! Believe it or not. We sat on the cab like about 1-2km liao leh ^^

Last day! I totally look like Hawaiian LOL
Love the flower on my hair! ^^
We went shopping at those road stalls. Bargain like siao~
They have these branded sunglasses replicas. I from SGD40 bargain until SGD9. Li hai or what?!?!?
I learnt abit of Malay leh...
Berlaper?

Checking out of the hotel :( So sad man. Went for lunch at this chinese restaurant ^^
BEST FOOD WE'VE TASTED FOR THESE 4 DAYS!!! LOL
Took bo liao pictures and everything... Then went to the airport liao.
Everything duty free ^^
But I left no money :(

Can't stop gasping at how miraculous these clouds look. Totally 100% boomz man.

There's no row no.13 seats! :S

More for you...

That's Singapore, our homeland, it's here that we belong~~~~

Yeap and daddy go buy wine from airport! And then we cabbed home already ^^
More photos at Facebook.
I definitely want to visit Bali Bali again lor! So memorable and so much fun there. Love it love it love it!!!

Next stop............. Korea/Japan :D SAVE MONEY SAVE MONEY!!!

YKH is sick now :(
Aiai also :(

Can't wait to find them + XT + TL + Meixia and Jiayee perhaps? HOPEFULLY.
Meeting Jiaren on Thursday! She's sucha strong girl I must say. Stay like this alright :)

TIME TO BE MOTIVATED.

"Love is knowing all about someone and still wanting to be with them more than any other person. Love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of. Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you."

I love you K.

2010-01-07T01:48:00.002+08:00

Hey there.

Am gonna go to Bali Indonesia tomorrow! Bali! Indonesia! Bali! Indonesia! Bali? Bali!!!!
Am enthu... Can't wait to go on a vacation and leave everything behind for awhile :D
But what if I cant do it? What if my mind's still at SG and I cant enjoy myself :( That will sucks and the fault will only go to one person.................. :)

I believe that I will be dead unhappy when Im back. I know you are thinking, so negative for what? Things havent happen already so disencouraged liaoz... Whatever ok ^^
Everytime I went overseas and after I come back, I will either have pleasant or shocking, surprises you call that? Hate it alot manz. If I could stay overseas for long and have temporary memory loss :( Life is miserable you know!

Meeting Aiai (and hopefully laopo) for lunch and everything before I head off to the airport tomorrow :)

I will miss using facebook and see the updates of my friends very much! Wahlao I miss night life. The last time was... Maybe already one or two years ago. Night life will change one life alotttttttttttttttt :) Trust me! So, run away from home if you felt that home is a terrible place and go out every night. THEN realise how home actually is really the best place ever (heartz) Unless there are disputes between your family members themselves lah...

Ages since I last talk to alot of people... As in face to face, Jiayee, Liting, Jiaen, Melissa and the ex-cdance peeps? Joelle, sy, aaron, kelvin? (well I accidentally met Jiayee a few times, gosh I jitao crack a wide smile and hug her! saw Liting at boat quay on 1st Jan. she didnt see me though) I've become so anti-social lah! Nono cannot like that must change already ^^

Who cares whether this is a wordy post? Who cares whether I've been repeating this i-miss-who-&-who for very long and no actions. Ok lah actually I care :( Just dont know why cant just take the initiative grr!

Praying that my job application will pass *close eyes and pray to ti kong*

KH didnt sleep at all last night. I bought tickets for A&cm2 for us two + Leon&Brandon and he met me for dunch at Pastamania. Yumz! (big fat hearts but spell sinful!)
Love the chipmunks, especially super duper alot my dearest.......... THEODORE!!! Looks just like my little KH huh with a big butt......... *smiles*

I abit cheat people with my FB photos sia LOL.
All edited one becuz the picture lighting + me is ugly without editing ma...

Shall sleep early tonight. Going to grab some cheap bikinis before meeting G & X tmr!!!
Ciaoz.

"Holding on to each other because we're too scared to let go."

2010-01-05T03:35:00.003+08:00

Im here......... Because I'm feeling really bored! And I really dont feel like going to sleep.

Now I'm yawning. Contradicting always!

He's out every night now and I'm home playing L4D 2 on Facebook. HAH. It's a pretty stupid game but everyone plays it.

Wednesday Imma celebrate dearest KH's birthday (L)
And going to Bali on Thursday! Woohoo! I'm looking forward but I prays that nothing goes wrong :)

Ciao people.

The best friends are the ones that you don't have to talk to everyday, who understand why you didn't take their advice to not call him or why you keep going back to him again. The ones who call you at 4am to let you know they're drunk, who listen when they've heard the same story a thousand times, the ones who call just to say hi. And whether you're dancing on the table or passed out drunk, they'll turn and say, "Hell yeah, that's my best friend."

2010-01-03T02:41:00.003+08:00

New Year Resolutions 2010

1. Life will be better. (same old thing)
2. Achieve something else if my O's fail. (gotta know what happen on 11th-13th)
3. If O's passable, move on to RP.
3. Get an ideal weight of **kg.
4. Be a better friend, girlfriend and daughter.
5. Make 50 new friends. (LOL at myself but I wanna do it! :) )
6. Know how to admit mistakes boldly and apologise.
7. Raise self-esteem, stop wallowing in misery.
8. Get a laptop with my own money.
9. Not be selfish and at the same time take care of my own self.
10. Stop disappointing so many people that are suppose to be my guardian angels and result in them leaving.

Basically all most of them have to do with changing myself and the way I treat people. Material needs seemed important but not so afterall.

I've quitted my job... I feel really guilty but free. You wont know how it feels when at days you feel like sitting on the floor kicking your legs and crying the whole day, YET you have to turn up for work with a smile to face the customers, to not let your colleagues worry about you. I don't know when things will settle down for me becuz it seems like another wave is coming my way. Sensing it and Im gonna do something about it.

I've made a superbly wrong choice. It's all up to me now.

:)

Anyway! Though 2010 doesnt looks like a great year ahead, I had fun for new year countdown :D

Thought that KH and guys are heading down to Esplanade but they are staying in hometown(lawls). So texted Aiai and Laopo to see what they were planning. Went to Marina Square with Aiai in the end and the crowd totally ftw. Pleasant perfume smell, not-so-pleasant frangrance and smell of sweat fill the air. Suffocating but I felt so united with my dearest Singaporeans lol!

Walked at least 2.4km (as stated by Sim) to our destination to meet her friends. Friendly people I say! Dined at Mac 15 minutes before the spectacular scene of fireworks came. The bright light works never once failed to amaze me and made me feel refreshed :)

Thank you Aiai, yet another year counting down with you! Started texting friends and folks but we all know the messages will never be sent at 12am sharp, duh!
I hope that LXT is fine, we love you so okay! xoxo

We headed different directions and I met Kh and guys at boat quay, saw Liting from a distance and said hi to Huilay! Ages man.
Love the night and company of the happy people ^^

515 for breakfast and home.
I slept at freaking 11am! T.T

Random note, I realy hope I can donate fats to those children in Africa :/
I so dont need them okayyy! If I can do that there will be one big problem off my mind :D Sometimes I will still be very angry at who-creates-us-humans for the misery brought into our lifes.

Went to Bugis with Sim, TL and Yap when we woke up!
Funny day it was.

She loves it lol!

Am gonna take a bath and watch Momo Love!!!

2009-12-31T00:16:00.003+08:00

Every year at this time... I will feel very sad and reminise and reflect alot :(
Seems like my life didnt get any better, YET it did not get any worse too :)
Everything is practically the same actually. It's just that my way of thinking went a different route. Im altogether a different person now.
Though so, the people I have by my side are still the same. Little, but all I need.

I lost much more people this year. I don't know whether it's a good or bad thing. I just know to believe in fate, believe that everything is arranged for my own good :) I will learn things along my way, even when the worst come I will take it in my stride and change to become a better person.

"You are still learning."- Daddy Ong.

:/

Just browsed through my archive 2008_12, : "My only new year resolution is to make everything better than before !"
I have failed again I guess. But arent we doing the same thing every year? Everyday? All our life, trying to accomplish something?
Even if we failed every year, it is not a failure afterall. Because we are still standing here, learning to do so after falling.

I think it's long since I talked about me and KH in any ways. I always cut them short, to one sentence, or none.
Many things happened between us, I dont know what is it between us now too anyway.
One thing that will definitely make me stay and that is how our love don't sway... :)
I still love hate you my dear!

I know that I have really been a bitch for this year.
To different people, in different ways.

Thank you to the 5, or 6 people that are still, or was once the most important people in my life.
It really made me smile looking at those happy posts, happy pictures, happy conversations etc again :)
Life changes.
I hope that all my loved ones will walk the correct route in life, and be happy in their heart :) If not, let it out! I dont know what I can do to help but I will definitely do my best to :)

It's time to let go of the unhappiness that's occupying this much space in my heart and mind.

:)

Anyway, I'm going off to Bali for 4d3n on the 7th! :D But that means I will be missing out KH's birthday ): Im going to celebrate it well for him before that. I hope that he'll be happy :)

And... On the 14th February I will be off to Malaysia to celebrate CNY too! :( Life sucks man. I rather celebrate Valentines Day in SG than get those angpaos in Malaysia... Do I? :D HAHAHA

Imma upload those photos before it gets late!

Hope that countdown tomorrow will be successful yeah (; I want a nice, exciting and refreshing one!
So now... I have to shake those hoops, take a bath and pain theeee nails :)
Ciao people! HNY eve :)

Gotta catch these beautiful chipettes on 4th January! Which is next year! HAHAHA

2009-12-18T23:22:00.004+08:00

So much things happened, I couldnt be myself already, no matter what. I've tried really hard to be nice yet be myself, but I just seem like a hypocrite altogether. It suck so much unable to behave like Jiamin.

I dont know how many people in this world actually have this kind of problem but all I know is I'm weird becuz it seem like Im the only one. Everybody else seem perfect to me. Do not tell me everyone has their problems that are really disturbing them and they are staying strong and Im just a fucking weakling and such. Because, I know it myself. Since dont know when, I became very selfish and insensitive to people's thoughts. I am more aware of whether people intentions to hurt me, and how fair or unfair if certain things is done etc etc.

Why do I keep escaping and escaping from people?!?!?!?! Fuck it.
I'm so upset with myself.
I dont really care if people are jumping with joy upon my misery. Im just saying my thoughts out. I really like Facebook application, "God wants you to know..." It's like the greatest fortune telling thing invented becuz every sentence suits me at the moment I read it and it never fail to give me more strength to move on in life.
Im a buddhist k....... Im going to the temple soon.

I really should stop thinking.

Something good I came across.
"74. Guys will always check out other girls, even if we make it less obvious when we're around you, it does not mean we're considering leaving you for the girl on the bus. It just comes to us without thinking, so don't freak out when a guy looks at another girl. It's just nature, and we know you were oggling at the cute guy that just walked passed. And hey, guys can have female friends just like girls can have male friends, just because he gets a text from a girl does not mean he is cheating on you. But if this does make things awkward, talk about it.

Wednesday, I went to HPV with G, TL and his friend! :D
Let the photos speak,

That's all for now I guess :D
Went to Genting last week! We only went there for about 4-5 hours~ I love the Bak Kut Teh at Klang!!! I love my cousins and relatives!!!

Am sick now with a flu. Hate the itchiness at throat you know? But I dont know why although it's a valid reason that I didnt turn up for work, I still feel so guilty... Sigh counsel me and tell me why!!!

As said before, Xiaxue and boyfriend wedding proposal's video is so worth my tears! Such a strong and funny girl with her own strong stand with loads of people loathing her and admiring herat the same time. I'm one of her supporters! She's someone I hope I could be like. Love her character.

"But somewhere we went wrong, we were once so strong. Our love is like a song, you can't forget it."
I dont know how to trust you anymore.

2009-12-04T01:22:00.002+08:00

Reading all those blogs just made me feel like blogging! Oh well so here I am I got lots of pictures to post anyway.

Worked at expo last last weekend and earned great buckz and am uber happy lo :D
I have stable income every month although not that much I'm moving forward everyday and learning new things in my job ^^
Went to Vivo City outlet for work I was damn nervous but end up I really like the people there but I will only work there for once which is last Saturday! :)

It was Dad's birthday on the 7th and sister's on the 14th of November! I love my family + Jonas & Nigel so so so so much!

Looking at those happy pictures really can make me very happy... I'm very very scared to lose any of them. In the past I might reconsider myself if asked to sacrifice for them. But if you ask me again I would do anything just to keep my family safe and sound and happy. I swear.

During those times when I went missing from blogging...
I have fun time with my friends too! :)
Only picture missing is with Lorencia.

But my fun times had come to an end.
No happy, no more.
Saw a quote from FB friend -- Sin once, condemned forever.
True enough and it totally happened to me. I'm gonna be guilty forever and nothing I'm going to do is gonna stop this self-reprimanding. Why stop anyway? I deserve it.

Gonna work my brains and hearts out. People from work are friendly and fun and that's all I need to forget everything :)
I love Lily, Hazel and Lieke!

Looking forward to all the knives and bullets coming my way.

2009-11-16T14:59:00.002+08:00

I need a space to vent out my frustration. I find it a need to blog...

Everything looks so calm but it's just chaotic in mine. I spent most of my time reflecting on myself and getting no answers from it. Am I wrong to do, say or even think of something? I'm not being myself lately I swear. Because no one is being real. Sometimes I wonder whether it's others that I live for or is it for myself. I feel that I'm sucha wreck and messy and fake. Mum says my thoughs are simple it's just that I tend to anyhow think. I feel so insecure because it seems like anyone will leave any moment leaving me gaping and in shock. I feel so shagged. People can tell me I'm not alone. Yeah? But the thing is I have been alone for so long, no one gets it or even try to understand, I can't get any help and I've tried to help myself for so many times.

I'm damn not sociable nowadays and I don't even know how to interact with people anymore it's scary. I'm over-aware of myself, yeah I know but I can't help it because I'm not that kind of "Be myself and who cares what you think." person because to me, opinions matter so much to me.

Going to work later and seriously, the managers suck and I'm so not looking forward to work.

I know I'm like damn negative now, I can't help it with these fucking overwhelming emotions inside me.